Which Colour are you???

How Red People Are Perceived

If you ask other people about Reds, you might get a different picture from the one the Red gives of himself. What a surprise! My own private research shows that Reds are surrounded by more idiots than the rest of us. Many people will agree with what you have read up to now about Reds, but I have also heard other comments. Usually, they express this when the Red is not in the room because they are afraid of his fiery temper. You’ve heard him say that he wants to hear the truth. Over the years, he’s bellowed into our ears “Say what you think!” But as soon as you do, you find yourself in the middle of a heated discussion with an angry Red. This means that what you are going to read now will often be completely new for many Reds. Not many of us have ever been able to make these points to a Red before. It takes way too much energy.

Some people say that Reds are just belligerent, arrogant, and egotistical. They are perceived as unyielding, impatient, aggressive, and controlling.

I don’t think this is necessarily correct, but I’ve even heard people speak about people with Red behavior as dictatorial and tyrannical. Suddenly the picture isn’t as flattering. The born leader reveals his blemished side.

First of all, let me say this: Nothing said previously would necessarily bother a Red, because he is more task oriented than
relationship oriented. Besides, everyone else is wrong. But let’s see what everyone else has to say.

“Why Does Everything Take So Long? Can’t You Speed Things Up a Bit?”

Well, what can you say? A person willing to step outside any regulatory framework to get ahead is nothing if not impatient. When
the usual official channels take too long, a Red will scale over a few levels of decision makers and expeditiously look for the person who really calls the shots. They
know just as well as everyone else that it’s wrong to break the rules; however, since it’s quicker that way, they do it anyway. Reds are notorious rule breakers. Once again, I would like to remind you of their intentions—to get the job done.

Reds have no problem taking one or two shortcuts, as long as it’s about getting things done. With such a generous approach to
regulations and rules, you’ll definitely arrive faster. I would even say that a Red is often so fast that if something were to go wrong he would still manage to redo the project. At the same time, no one else
ever really knows what’s going to happen.

“I Am Not Screaming! I’m Not Angry! Aaarrrghhhh!”

Because the way Reds communicate is so blunt and so direct, many perceive them as aggressive. This is logical, but at the same
time this perception varies, depending on who becomes the victim of the Red’s forceful points of view. For instance, in Sweden it’s not acceptable to behave in the kind of confrontational manner that would be fine in Germany or France. I’m not saying that people quarrel more in these countries, but that they have a slightly different approach to conflicts.

My goal here isn’t to define what’s right or wrong; I only want to establish that all of us are different.

So why do we sometimes perceive Red behavior as threatening and belligerent? Could it be that they don’t give up right away? That they like to argue and debate even small matters if they find them important? That they’ll raise their voices, glare daggers at people, and pound their fists on the table if it suits them? That sometimes they express themselves rather rudely?

When a Red goes all out on an issue that’s important to him, an issue on which he does not intend to give up—well, the storm will be brutal. If you’re afraid of conflict, then you shouldn’t put yourself in that situation. A Red has no problem with conflict. Reds don’t consciously create conflict, but a refreshing quarrel every now and then can be a good thing, don’t you think? It’s just another way to communicate. A little tip: The worst thing you can do once you get into a conflict with a Red is back off. That tactic can cause you serious problems.

“What Are You Doing over There? I Can See What You’re (Not) Doing!”

What’s behind the need to control? Simply put, the desire for control is a phenomenon where an individual needs to have power
over a situation in which either groups or individuals are present. Those who have control needs often feel extremely uneasy about having to adapt themselves to a group or a situation and will eagerly come up with various strategies to avoid this. A common form of behavior is to talk constantly, interrupting and ignoring others, in order to maintain control over the conversation.

Reds can probably be perceived as extremely overbearing, but it’s important to note they are interested in controlling those around them, but not in controlling every specific detail of a situation. (Attention to or control over detail isn’t something we can accuse Reds of.) But it is important for a Red to feel that he can influence what people do and how they intend to act on certain specific issues.

At the heart of this need for control is a belief that they know more than anyone else. And because a Red feels he knows best, he will keep tabs on everyone around him to ensure that they all do the right thing. The advantage for a Red is that he gets everything done his way. The disadvantage is obvious: everyone else feels controlled. Some people think it’s a good thing when someone else makes the decisions and holds the baton, but others feel limited and just want to escape.

“I Try to Care About You, but It Would Help If You Were a Little More Interesting.”

Have you ever met a person completely without feelings? No, I thought so. Once again—Reds are not typical relational people. Nothing wrong with that, as long as the person you are communicating with has the same focus as you. But if a Red speaks
to a pronounced relational person, like a Yellow or a Green, he can be perceived as very coldhearted or inhuman.

Remember that we’re talking about interpretations and perceptions here. The intention behind a particular behavior is one thing; how we as recipients perceive it is another.

“It Takes Strength to Be Alone, and I’m the Strongest of You All.”

The word “egotistic” comes from the Latin word “ego,” meaning “I.” My I is, therefore, my ego. Linguistically, we have consequently chosen to put some kind of equal sign between people with strong
egos and being selfish. Naturally, there are many people in our world who are selfish and egotistical. The world is teeming with them. Again, I want you to remember that we are speaking here about perceived behavior.

If we look at how a Red communicates, we can understand why many perceive him as egotistic:

• “I think we should accept this proposal.”
• “I want that assignment.”
• “This is what I think about it.”
• “I have a good idea.”
• “Will we do this my way or the wrong way?”

Add a sharp eye and distinctive body language and you will see someone who will take what he wants. He will fight for his interests. He will tell everyone who will listen that he is capable of doing whatever he undertakes. Some people, especially Greens, find that this “I” form of speaking is unsettling. A Red’s “I” message occupies their minds. (They share this trait with Yellows, who also have strong egos.)

But we’ve learned to take care of one another. We know that being solitary is not the same thing as being strong, that we need
one another to survive. Cooperation is the model, and I’ve preached this for over two decades. So we think it’s egotistic when Reds speak only about themselves. They make sure to help themselves before helping others. They are often willing to trample on someone else if they see an opportunity to advance themselves. They may not do this consciously, but the effect is the same.

Reds often come out the winners in discussions. They see this as a natural part of a conversation. They always know best and will assert that everyone else is wrong. It suits their ego to behave this way. The aftermath of this method is that they lose friends, people can dislike them, and they are cut off from information because no
one wants them in the group. Once they’ve noticed this, they may well just decide that all the other people are idiots. —Reds are the ones who always believe they are surrounded by idiots.