Will of Fire: Kakashi Hatake

*Special* Kakashi POV 1

Reference: Chapters 1 and 2

+++

Kakashi had never really liked Akira. Sure he tolerated her, but when she would show up to training with Team Minato he would always rather her not. He didn't understand why everyone else loved her so much. But when Obito died, he felt like he had to show her some sort of kindness. She missed Obito as much as the rest of them did.

He didn't push her away as much in the streets. She would come up to him with a hopeful smile on her face, but he would glare and shake his head. Don't bother me. He didn't want to babysit some silly six-year-old, no matter how much talent she had. She was annoying.

But after Rin died, something changed. Kakashi didn't even have the energy to glare at the girl anymore. Most of the time when he saw Akira, she would be frowning. She always looked sad. He didn't know if she understood what was happening in the world around her, but he knew she was hurting too. Akira would barely smile at him anymore. Her eyes would light up a bit, but they didn't have the usual brightness to them. Her green eyes almost seemed like they had dulled. Though the world had seemed like it had dulled, so maybe it was just him.

Kakashi couldn't stand to look the girl in the eye. He blamed himself for what happened and didn't want to know if she blamed him too. He couldn't stand to see the hurt in her eyes. The pain. But he didn't want to push her out entirely. He didn't want her to think that it was her who had done something wrong. Whether he wanted to or not, he had grown a little fond of her. Though she was still annoying.

When he would pass her in the streets now, he would keep his eyes on the ground, or forward. He couldn't meet her eyes. But he would pull his hand out of his pocket and brush her shoulder, then nudge her in the other direction. Just enough to say don't bother me. But don't stop bothering me.

After Rin's death, Akira started to come by his apartment every morning. At first, it annoyed him, but he eventually got used to it. He didn't know why she did it, but at least she didn't try to interact with him. She wasn't very subtle though. She would sit right outside his window and watch him for a few minutes, then leave. The seven-year-old wasn't very sly. He was amazed that she was at the top of her class.

Kakashi woke with a start, sweating. He had killed Rin in his dreams again. But this time, she had been angry. She screamed at him, her face washed in the red of her own blood. Her eyes were unseeing but filled with rage.

He ran to his kitchen sink, blood covering his hand again. Rin's blood. But no matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn't get it off. It still covered his hand, in between his fingers, stained in his skin, under his fingernails. And it wouldn't. Come. Off.

"It won't come off," he mumbled. "It won't come off!" Tears were welling in his eyes.

Suddenly, he was shocked out of his vision by two small hands grabbing his right one. He jumped, unaware that someone had entered his apartment. He stayed still as the hands washed his own, gently. They scrubbed the back of his hand with soapy ones of their own, then his palm, and in between his fingers. They reached across him for another squirt of soap, then started the process again. Kakashi's tears disappeared, and he closed his left eye. The blood that had been on his hand disappeared.

Kakashi glanced over through his hair and was surprised to see that it was Akira who had her hands in the sink with him. She was frowning in concentration, standing on her tippy-toes to reach the sink. He looked back down at his hand, watching her work. Her movements were gentle, her touch soft. It calmed him a bit to watch her motions.

Akira rinsed his hand again and turned off the water. She grabbed the towel on the side of the sink and pulled his hands out of the basin. She gently dried his hands off, then dried her own.