More Than Friends|| J.Jk ✓

Part-57

️⚠️️Trigger warning⚠️: Mention of self-hating and thoughts of killing yourself.
(Don't read if you're under 18)

Y/N POV
We sat down on the sand as water splashed over our feet. I was enjoying the view of water shining due to the sunlight. The sound of waves were just calming my whole body.

I wish every day of my life was as peaceful as this. No hassle, no worries, just peace. But that's the thing I can only wish for. Sometimes I wonder that I'm just a burden on this world nothing else.

Neither I can please my parents nor myself nor the person whom I love. Breaking people's heart is what I am good at. But still they don't leave me, they hold me whenever i break down.

I didn't did anything to deserve them in my life. They deserve more better than me. I am no more the cheerful, sweet and positive Y/N I used to be, I have become a quiet, wretched, weak and self-hating girl. My vibe is not like before, whoever comes to me becomes sad and worried.

The thing i ever gave to my love ones is worries and sadness. I always cause trouble to them. I don't know what happened to me, why i can't change myself to my old self. The more i try the more i lose my confidence.

I'm just tired of trying and living now. Why don't I die? All the troubles will end. Everyone will be happy. I'm just a trouble maker, nothing else.

"Are you crying?" He asked as i snapped out of my thoughts and noticed myself shedding tears.

"N-no. It's j-just something went in my e-eyes." I said while wipping the tears away.

"You can lie to world but not to me. If anything is there you want to share you can. I'm here to listen." He said in a soft tone as i looked at him.

Even after being so hurt, he cares for me so much and here I am hurting him equally.

Not knowing what to say I just nodded and looked away.

"You know I always used to come here whenever I felt left out or down." He said as he also looked away.

"No one ever came here with me, i never brought anyone." He said

I looked at him.

"Then why did you brought me here?" I asked as he turned towards me.

"Because you are the only person with whom I wanted to come here." He said as my eyes softened.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked as he tilted his head a little in confusion.

"What am I doing?" He asked

I sighed heavily and looked at front.

"This things which you're doing now from bringing me here to talking to me like this. Why don't you understand that it's of no use now?" I said as i heard him sighing softly.

"I didn't do it to make you feel like this. I just wanted to spend sometime with you." He said

"Why? Why don't you just leave me alone? Why don't you go away like you went twice before?" I asked and turned towards him.

"Because I don't want to make that mistake again. I extremely regret doing that and i can't just do it again. Leaving you twice was my biggest mistake which i made in this life and i don't have the courage to do that again." He said softly.

"Why now? You're again making mistake by not leaving me now. The time for you to correct your mistakes is long gone and now it's of no use to do that so. When i loved you, you never cared and now when i don't, you are starting to care for me. Don't do this please. Don't waste your time on something which you'll never get." I said