Birth Rights

Chapter 6

I found myself wandering about the edge of town, near where I started all of my hikes. I had changed into my normal clothes in the changing room rapidly, ignoring the girls' congratulations apart from nodding and the occasional tight-lipped smile.

It was clear that I had crossed a line when I crossed the threshold of that big house. I had tried to deny it, but I felt different on a basic level. And sure, all I had done was knock a guy down, but it was more how unbelievably angry I had been. There was foul play in every match, but I was ready to kill James if Sarah hadn't distracted me. I was literally ready to kill a guy, just because he had jostled me.

I was normally gentle. I wasn't just off balance from my crazy weekend. No, this was something more. And I knew in my bones that it started when I met those Cognatio brothers.

I couldn't accept that, though. All I had to do was try harder. My life was damn near perfect. No matter how different I thought I felt, I was sure it was just all of my teen angst catching up to me at long last. I bet if I slept on it, my situation would seem considerably brighter in the morning.

A thought dawned on me. Adam had been trying to protect me when he stopped me from leaving. I knew he was looking out for me, since the beginning. Michael, however? I didn't think I was imagining the cruel flash in his eyes when he told Adam to let me go. I just didn't notice it at the time.

Maybe, if I went to the house, Adam could teach me how to control my rage. He did it easily enough when Michael hit him. No. I couldn't do that. If I went back there I wouldn't be able to leave.

I did have to tell somebody. It couldn't be my parents, they'd freak out. Alice, however, was normally pretty level headed. Yes, I decided, I'd tell Alice.

The minute I got home I called her to tell her to come over. Our parents were used to us coming and going so it was no big deal. Then, I waited on my bed, rocking myself to pass the time.

Alice came in to my room after about 20 minutes.

"Hey, G, what's up? I heard about your amazing win today." Alice asked. When she saw my face, however, she rushed over to me. "Oh my God Regina are you OK?" she asked. I smiled tightly.

"I'm afraid I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you about my weekend." And I told her everything, even including today. Credit where credit is due, she didn't interrupt me once. When I was finished was a whole different story.

"You're joking. You have to be joking. But your sense of humour isn't that bad. Oh, God, Regina, tell me you're joking!" Things were bad when Alice was using my full name. Slowly and sadly I shook my head.

"This is... Oh my God. I just.. I just can't believe it." Alice was babbling. Surprisingly though, the weight hadn't lifted from my chest. Wasn't that supposed to happen? A problem shared is a problem halved and all that.

Alice's head stopped shaking. A strange look came into her eyes. I was glad she had accepted it.

"Have you told your parents?" She asked carefully. I shook my head.

"No, they'd freak out. It doesn't need to involve them anyway. I'm just going to work at keeping my temper." Alice nodded.

"That makes sense. But still, maybe.. maybe it would be easier if you told them. They'd be more understanding and you could also get help for what must be difficult." she said, still in that careful voice. A thought came into my head.

"You don't believe me." I stated. Her eyes widened, and she started to protest. "No, Alice, just stop. You think I'm crazy, I can see it in your eyes." Alice was really freaked out now, but it wasn't in the way one person would be to another if they were being paranoid. No, it was the way somebody would be freaked out by a skittish animal.

I felt myself grow angry, and tried to push it down. The one person I trusted even more than my own parents thought I was crazy. I couldn't believe it.

"Here I am, thinking you could help me, that we'd be in this together. But no, you can't even trust me when we've known each other for years." I laughed bitterly. Alice started edging towards the door.

"Listen, G, I need to go think things over. This is a lot to handle. We can talk about it tomorrow, in maths." Where my laugh was bitter, Alice's was nervous. She was clearly going to tell my parents, or worse, the police. Even the way she said the nickname I had had for years was calculated. My friend wasn't my friend any more. Had she ever been?

Still I had to battle my anger. "NO!" I practically shouted. "Don't leave. I need.. I need to convince you." I said, nodding to myself. When Alice believed me, I'd calm down. I knew it. Still, though, Alice was edging towards the door.

"I thought I told you to stay?" I said. My voice was dangerous. I'd say my eyes were red by now. I stood up and grabbed Alice by the sides of her head, to get her to look me in the eyes.

Alice saw my eyes, and started fighting to free herself from my grip. There were tears in her eyes.

"Do you believe me Alice? You have to believe me!" I said, trying to convince her even through my anger.

"You aren't Regina. Get the hell away from me, you monster!" I couldn't hold all my anger in any more. I twisted Alice's head to the side as I whirled away. I heard a snap. Too late, all of my anger deserted me. Alice crumpled to the floor.

"Alice. Alice! ALICE!" I said, trying to get her to wake. When she didn't, I pressed shaking fingers to her neck. Her heart was as still as mine was pounding.

In vain, I tried CPR. When that didn't work, I knelt on my bedroom floor clutching my lifeless best friend to my body. I must have been there hours. When I was finished, I stood up. Too late, I knew the choice I had to make.

A knock sounded on the large wooden door.