Before The Sky & The Sea (A Muslim Love Story)

chapter thirty

A/n: I intended to write earlier but intern has been draining me so much. also thank you to everyone who likes and comments on all the chapters, it really motivates me alot <3

IAN

If I'm being honest with you, perhaps I am still a selfish man because despite having a plan in place I've been prolonging executing it for a little since it means my time with Zahra will get cut short soon. It's careless, stupid even but, if these are my last days with Zahra then I will cherish it with my whole heart.

On my home one day, I picked up a bouquet of flowers. I may be putting too much thought into it, walking around, thinking what to get her.

I'm never good with words so I pray somehow the flowers will say enough for me. The stress in my face must've been apparent because the elderly lady florist smiled gently at me, I felt like my worry had rubbed off on her based on her expression.

"Honey, what are you looking for?" she asks, her voice so gentle, a tone I was never used to. A tenderness I never felt. Something about her made me feel as though I could trust her with my deepest secrets, so I confessed them.

"I'm buying something, for someone I love. I love her so deeply and I don't know when it happened but now that it has, I don't want to let her go. I want to tell her," I let out, "But I don't know how to do it with words."

She laughs at me, I don't think it was to ridicule, "Sweetheart, how can people understand the words if we don't speak them?" she sighs but she still looks through her selections, browsing thoroughly. "If you love her, let her know. Even if it kills you, you give her the chance to make the decision to love you back."

I sigh, "I've never loved before. I don't know.. if I can do it, if I can be okay without her."

The old lady reaches out for my hand, "Are you a better man for loving her?" she questions.

I never nodded so fast, "I don't think a better version of me could ever exist after her."

She smiles, "Then it is the kind of love that could never have a bad ending."

I think about it for a second, and I nod. Because somehow I get what she's trying to say. Zahra has brightened my life ever since she entered it. If she does not love me back, it is okay. Love is not a debt she owes me. I will love her regardless of her answer, and knowing that, I feel like a better man.

I pick up a bouquet of lisianthus. "These are beautiful," I let out.

The lady nods. "They are. They have a meaning too."

"They do?"

"Of course, every flower does."

I chuckle, "What does it mean?"

"Everlasting love. Unchanging love."

It feels perfect. I tell her I will take it. "Ma'am, what's your name?"

"Jieun, Moon Jieun."

"Ms Moon?" she nods, as a sign of approval of the way I addressed her, "I'm Ian."

"All the best," she utters simply, and something in my heart tells me I would see her again.

I'm nervous. I don't think I have been this nervous in my life which is kind of crazy considering what kind of job I used to have.. but seriously, I feel like there are actual butterflies in my stomach and I cringe a little at the silly expression I chose to use.