|Never Let Me Down Again||Joel Miller|

Chapter Eleven

Joel couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, trying to drift off. Yet he couldn't. His brain wouldn't shut off. It kept reminding him of the things that could go wrong during their mission the next day. What if the trucks never came by, leaving them yet another day behind on their delivery to their client. If, by some miracle they did spot a truck, what if the driver didn't give up so easily? What if they got all the way to the warehouse, and FEDRA caught them? Spending the rest of their lives in a FEDRA prison camp was not a possibility that Joel would like to explore.

He looked over at Caroline, asleep on the floor of the grocery store. Her blonde hair was splayed all across her sweatshirt that she'd balled up to use as a makeshift pillow. Her eyelids fluttered as she softly breathed, deep in sleep. When he first saw her that day outside of the QZ, he saw no trace of the Caroline that he knew back in high school. Now, looking at her, he saw her. The Caroline that he fell in love with.

Then he looked over at Tess, who was also sound asleep on the floor, wrapped up in some tarp that they'd found in the grocery store. He wasn't going to lie to himself. He liked Tess. Well, of course he liked her. They'd been business partners for almost three years now, and there had been very few nights that they'd spent apart since then. But no, he liked her. There was just something about the way that she was so effortlessly powerful that Joel admired. The way that she was not afraid to stand up to anyone, and would always fight for what she needed. He knew that most of that was a persona. They'd spent many nights together, sharing stories of who they used to be. She had a son, one that she spent years after the outbreak protecting. When he was bit, she had no choice but to leave him. Doing something like that will change a person. Joel knew that beneath all of the hard crust that Tess presented to other people, there was a kind soul.

Joel also didn't deny that she had feelings for him. The way she looked into his eyes when they were deep into a conversation under the stars, or would spend a few extra seconds holding onto his hand after patching up one of his many wounds were obvious additions to his suspicions. Whatever was between them always remained unspoken. Both were still devastated by events in their past, and weren't looking to reopen any wounds. And Leo would not handle it very well if they came back from one of their missions hand in hand.

So, Joel felt immense conflict when he looked down at Caroline, and he felt like a young boy again. He was reminded of the unconditional love he'd had for that girl at a time in his life. He was planning on marrying her. There was a time where he wanted nothing more than to stay in her arms forever. Then he'd left. It was something that he thought he needed to do, and looking back, Tommy would have been fine either way. He knew that if he left, he'd be giving up a lifetime spent with her. And he did it anyway. Biggest mistake of his life. Now seeing the person she'd become, after their breakup and the end of the world, he still wondered what it would be like to be able to kiss her again.

Joel checked the time. The clock read 5:30. He walked over to Caroline and brushed his hand across her arm, gently waking her up.

"It's time to go." He said quietly, trying to let Tess get a few more hours of sleep.

"Alright" she said. "I'll be ready in five."

Joel went over and picked up the bag they'd packed the night before. Inside, there were some bottles of water, a map, a lighter, a compass, and some amo. Joel checked that his gun was loaded and strapped it into the hollister on his hip. He turned around to see Caroline putting her hair into a tightly woven braid. He stood there for a second, just taking in her beauty,

"You need something, Joel?" She asked, confused as to why he'd been staring at her.

"Oh, nothing. I got our bag. You ready?"