Enjoy the Little Things

A Fear of the Waves

Raya ran wildly, becoming increasingly aware of the dangers she could be in while running down to the beach. There could be rapers, or drug dealers…hell, even fucking hunters could be on this beach! her conscious yelled at her . She kept on running with the sand sweeping off her heels at each step.

She became aware she had no shoes on, and she was only wearing thin house clothes in the cool of the night.

“great.” she sighed. “Another problem”.

The waters shimmer reflected the moons light, and lapped softly. It was cool at the touch of her feet, and it felt good after running down the slope of the land into the ocean.  She betrayed her exhaustion and kept running into the water.

“All there is in life is fear and love” she remembered Neil telling her. “I Love you” he had said to her. “And I fear you! “She had replied. She remembered their laughter echoing off the streets that night.

She stopped running and looked at the black water that lapped at her waist. Her fears for the water began to rekindle inside her. Its opaqueness grew and she saw her reflection softly turn in the waves.

“All there is in life is fear and love” she repeated to herself. “Just fear and love.”

Neil wouldn’t be there to hold her. She couldn’t run away from the water into his arms. She couldn’t hold him and know she was safe. She would never see him again.

This gave her strength as she plunged into the darkness of the water.

“All there is fear and love” she repeated. “Fear and love”

She opened her eyes in the darkness. “I love you Neil” she whispered in her head.

Sadness filled her heart but she swam in the pitch darkness of black, with occasional drifts of dark blue. She looked up from under the waves at the moon.

Her lungs seemed to hold air for eternity. She swam with direction and proposes, and soon felt the softness of ground sand under her feet.

Raya lifted herself onto the small washed up beach of the tiny rock island.

She climbed the familiar pattern of rock into the cave. She ran, desperate for any signs of Neil. The soft lights from the lagoon glowed, and she swam.  Darkness once again clouded her vision and she felt her lungs contract in memory of what happened the last time she had visited.

She burst through the entrance to the second part of the cave. The record music was playing and the moonlight was streaming through the rock ceiling. She smiled and started running in expectation of Neil. The room stood empty and bare.  The record player stood in the corner of the room alone with the exception of the linen chest.

 As Raya walked towards it a pen lay beside it. It was one of Neil’s old pens. One in his many collections of old fountain pens. She smiled at it and cried.

Sleep drowsed over her and she reached for the linen chest to find a blanket. The pastel dress lay beside it, making her smile. She remembered the girl dancing with Neil, wearing the same pastel dress. Raya slammed the chest closed.

She fell asleep crying.