The Signs As Inspirational Life Mottos

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Aries: Fuck the fucking fuckers before the fucking fuckers fuck you.

Taurus: I just don't want to look back and think "I could have eaten that".

Gemini: Don't do meth, do math. it'll fuck you up twice as much.

Cancer: Never put off til tomorrow what you can straight up cancel.

Leo: Don't let anyone with bad eyebrows tell you shit about life. Don't let the bad eyebrow bitches control you

Virgo: Why say something in 10 words when you can say it in 1000.

Libra: Everything happens for a reason. but sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and make bad decisions.

Scorpio: Why wrestle your demons when you can use them to kill your enemies.

Sagittarius: If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be.

Capricorn: Sarcasm, because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

Aquarius: Maturity is like a light switch. you only turn it on when needed.

Pisces: Today I will live in the moment unless it's unpleasant in which case I will eat a cookie.

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