[Excerpt from The Honorable Heart of Henry Holloway by Lucian G. Ott]
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“So Jenny, I’ve been meaning to ask, but what’s with the conservative fashion these days? Did you turn Amish or something?”
Jennifer turned to Nathan, a sarcastic hint to the questioning expression in his face as he looked her up and down. She glared at him, unnerved in having to put up with her co-worker’s arrogant remarks before she had even fully walked through the door. But she was already late for her shift and relied on his mercy to not rat her out to their boss, so she decided to be nice. Or at least, as nice as she could.
“Exactly, so lucky for you I can’t touch a gun or anything and shoot you.”
“Actually, the Amish can’t own anything electronic, so traditional firearms should still be okay.”
“Shut up,” she snapped back, focusing on tying the apron around her waist.
Nathan mockingly held his hands up in defense. “Touchy! I’m just saying, ya know? You won’t be getting tipped as much as when you had cleavage and a flirty attitude. But your boyfriend’s back; maybe he’ll oblige you.”
Jennifer paused, still fixing her hair band. “Boyfriend?”
“Yeah, table three.”
She turned to the direction Nathan nodded to and her heart fell when she saw who he meant.
“Anyways,” Nathan continued without noticing, his eyes fixed on a middle aged lady gesturing that she wanted the check, “Professor Cougar over there has been tipping me like crazy all week and it’s about time I make some moves! Wish me luck!”
Nathan did not wait for a response, but she was not listening. She took a deep breath, grabbed one of the coffee pots, and started walking over to the table where Henry sat alone, simply staring at his empty mug. He was like a ghost; transparent and unnoticed by everyone, even by her when she walked in. And yet, he was still there, emitting a chill down anyone’s spine once they actually did set eyes on him.
Jennifer had not spoken to him since that fateful night, making sure she was working in the back when she knew he was coming, or switching sections with Nathan when he was already there. But she knew she had to face him eventually, and now was as good a time as any. She felt nervous. Her hands were sweating and she feared the pot would slip out of her hands as she closed the distance between them.
“Want a refill on that? On the house.”
Henry looked up at her. His eyes with their deep bags underneath seemed surprised and confused to see Jennifer suddenly standing next to him. Not a confusion out of some form of dislike or grudge towards why she of all people would dare to approach him, but out of the innocent belief that he would never see her again. Still, she could feel her heart pounding faster, threatening to break through her chest, as he remained staring at her. He remembered that she worked here at the Pick Me Up Cafe now and, noticing the panicked look in her eyes, changed his demeanor, forcing himself to appear lighter to make her feel less uneasy.
“I didn’t know you guys converted into a diner with free refills?” he asked jokingly.
“We didn’t, it just seemed like you could really use it.”
He smiled, genuinely this time. That beautiful half-smile of his that Jennifer loved so much since the first time she saw the beat up version of it by her front yard at the party. Completely asymmetrical, but not crooked; it was a half-smile that likely every girl fell in love with, and that he was so unaware of even having at all.
“Yeah,” he sighed, “I s’pose I could. Thanks, Jenny.”
She poured the coffee into his mug and returned the smile. A cold breeze moved through the coffee shop as the front entrance swung open. Henry’s head immediately jerked up with anticipation, but was quickly overcome with disappointment when he saw the unknown girl walk in. Jennifer knew who he was hoping to see come through the door, and she was immediately filled with guilt. She knew that, to some degree, it was her fault for his misery.
“She’s not coming, Henry. She hasn’t come back here in several weeks,” she told him in a soft voice. “I miss her too.”
He did not say anything, his weary eyes still fixed on the door. Jennifer wanted to leave him be, beginning to think that this encounter might not have been the best idea after all, not in his current state. She wanted to walk back towards the register, but knew she had to finish what she started. She took a deep breath once more and felt her eyes suddenly feeling hot and teary.
“Henry, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! That night… I-I didn’t mean for this to… I…” Her voice trailed off. She wanted to say so much more, apologize for so much more, yet she could neither seem to find the words nor the courage. But Henry did not need more, he understood. He looked at her as kind as any person could in his situation and nodded.
“I know.”
Their moment continued for another second or two when she noticed the girl who walked in raise her hand to order. Jennifer wiped away the tear that had forced its way out, and returned Henry’s nod.
“Thanks for the refill,” he said. Then his eyes grew empty again as she walked away, and he returned to staring at the cup in his hands, the black liquid left unmoved.
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