From Eden

eight

The next class went by smoothly. I felt a lot more comfortable being in the same room as Chloe, and though she paid me almost no mind, the vibe was definitely a lot better between us. When we finished the class, she even shot me a small smile. I was almost feeling optimistic, until a familiar, black cloud of a presence rolled into the room. All I could do was freeze, and hope I wouldn't be caught in the storm.

Though I stood there, frozen, my eyes trained on Abby Lee Miller as she entered, my heart had a mind of its own. It galloped at about two hundred miles per hour, most likely trying to stimulate my fight or flight senses. I couldn't flight, so I guess I had to fight? At least I was still high.

"Hi, girls," She greeted, her electric wheelchair coming to a halt about five feet away. I swallowed and tried to smile, reassuring myself that at least she was a safe distance from me. I could still dart around her and run away if I had to. "How have you two been? Why don't you take a break and come to my office for a bit?"

It was then I remembered Chloe was also in the room, and my head whipped to glance at her. I hoped she was okay. She was even more wide eyed than I was, just staring intently at Abby. I looked back to our old dance instructor and nodded. "We'll be there in a second."

"Okay," Abby looked somewhat offended, as if she shouldn't be triggering our PTSD. "Just hurry up, we're busy here." She turned and rolled away.

When she left the room, I walked over to Chloe, who was still standing in the same spot, her face blank. "Do you wanna go or do you just want me to?"

I saw her visibly gulp and her eyes broke from the trance they were in. They looked scared, and upset. "I-I can't believe I said y-yes to this." She choked out, like something was stuck in her throat.

"Me too," I chewed on my lip, my heart still racing. "Well, I wish my dad never said yes to this." I paused, then said softly, "I can go for us both."

Chloe's eyes were teary when she looked at me. "Would you do that for me? I just don't think I'm...I'm ready to face her yet." Her face twisted, and she continued, "I can't face her yet. This day has been too overwhelming."

"I know," I sighed, and reached out to touch her back in comfort, but then hesitated and dropped my hand. "I'll go, don't worry."

"I just hate myself for it, because you're scarred too," She said, beginning to raise her voice in panic, like she was trying to force herself to go. "You shouldn't have to do it alone. I just feel like...I'm going to throw up if I go talk to her."

"Chloe," I soothed, letting my hand do what it wanted and touch her back lightly. She swung her head towards me at the touch, and I thought she was about to retreat, so I moved my hand awkwardly and just said, "I will go. It's fine, okay, bird?"

I saw her eyes soften at the use of her old nickname, but all the same, they were full of distrust. "Thanks, Paige. If you say so."

It was only the first thing I would do to make everything up to her.

I practically sulked my way to the back of the studio, trying to breathe and calm my nerves as I went. Half of me screamed, 'Why the fuck are you doing this? Why? Why!?', and the other half said, 'Chloe probably thinks you're so brave right now'. The second half carried me the whole way to Abby Lee Miller's office.

I knocked softly on the door of her office and willed her not to be available already. Maybe she took a last minute phone call, or decided not to talk to me, or got angry at someone, or—