Chloeheart's Anecdotes

April 2015

April 03, 2015

            The holy week was like a semestral break for her; it was like sucking a long gulp of air after near-drowning. She needed this, she needed to breathe and clear her mind of everything. She needed to contemplate and look for herself, look for her heart. She knew she left it. She wanted to forget about him and start anew, but she just could not do it. She has done everything to keep herself busy but all she thought of was him. She thought of him while watching movies, she thought of him while reading books, she thought of him while eating, she thought of him every time. She hated to admit it but she loves him. She left her heart with him, but she did not know if he took it.

April 13, 2015

            They stared at each other but they didn't talk. They acted as if they were strangers. She was waiting for him to be the first one to talk, but he didn't. They were only inches away from each other but it felt like they were worlds apart. He was talking to another girl, he was holding someone else's hand, and he was having fun without her. She was supposed to be enjoying the party but she kept on mending her broken heart. She poured more drink on her cup when he smiled at her. With that one smile, she became vulnerable; her walls were broken and her barriers were removed. She was defenseless. He asked her to pour more drink on his cup but she just shook her head and tried to compose herself. He asked him why but she didn't answer. It was a chance for reconciliation but she didn't grab it. She held her cup with both hands and drank more. She was trying to drown her feelings, but all she thought of was him. He was walking past her when she had to courage to grab his hand and stop him. She asked him if he is angry. He smiled and asked her back if he looked like he is angry. She felt relieved but only for a moment, because after that, she saw him hold another girl's hand as they walk away from her. She almost cried but she didn't, because she was too numb to do so.

April 15, 2015

            It was harder than she thought, harder than the day they fought, because this time, he said they were okay. She didn't know where to place herself; she didn't know where to stand. He said they were okay but for her they weren't. His words felt empty whenever they talk. She can see him laughing with their friends, talking with them, and enjoying their company, but whenever they interact, it just feels so weird. Maybe she was fooling herself, maybe whatever they had was lost in a boundless void, maybe the memories they shared were erased in his mind. It was difficult to believe in something which is not true. It was too painful to remember the boy he used to be. It hurt wherever she went; it did not matter if she was going towards him or away from him for every step was like a needle pricked on her heart. She was in anguish so she stopped moving. She let the current take her wherever it went, because she had no idea where else to go.