Save My Soul

Bubbles On a Summer Day [13]

13.

"You still haven't showed me the Lone Moon, Lizz."

It's Monday and we're sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch. Adam is sitting on my right and Jamie on my left so I'm sandwiched in between the two of them. Alyssa sits across me and neither one of us look at the other. Her eyes are red and she looks so out of it that I find myself glancing at her whenever she isn't looking at me. She looks stoned, I realize eventually. That ex-boyfriend of hers, Jerry, used to smoke stuff with her when they were dating. I wonder if she's started hanging out with him again.

Adam has been following me around since I got to school, meeting me in between classes, walking me to the cafeteria, and now sitting so close next to me that I can feel him breathing. With his every appearance, Jamie grew more distant and sullen, and now he sits at my side as silent as a piece of stone and he's barely said a word since we sat down. Twice I tried to include him in the conversation but he practically ignored me so I've given up trying. Meanwhile, Adam insists on talking only to me, a fact that hasn't gone unnoticed by Alyssa (or Jamie), I'm sure, and the both of them are giving me the cold shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll bring it tomorrow," I say without looking at him. Adam, good, old Adam, is acting weirdest of all and I want to slap him and beg him to just go back to normal already. But I can't do that, he'd be hurt, so here I sit playing with my cold mashed potatoes while Jamie glares at his plate and Alyssa sniffs and nibbles on Jello. I know that she's only sitting with us out of habit, since she hasn't spoken to me since last week, and she's mad at Adam, I can tell, so it's all awkward and awful.

"I got this acrylic set for you..." Adam is saying. "It was on sale at the Art Supply. It's in my locker – do you want to go get it?"

"Um, maybe later," I say when I notice Jamie's face.

Adam looks hurt. I try to save the situation.

"What colors?" I ask, and he brightens. It's the first time I've initiated a conversation with him all day I think.

"Oh, it's got a lot, you'll love it. It's got that cerulean blue you're always talking about and this really cool green, I think its emerald..."

Cerulean, emerald – yes!  "Oh Adam, that's perfect, I needed those colors!" I say and Adam's cheeks tinge pink.

"Well, I thought they'd come in handy," he says shyly.

"It didn't cost too much, did it?"

He shakes his head. "I told you, it was on sale."

"Still, how much was it? I know how expensive they are, I'll pay you back..."

"Lizz, it's a gift," Adam says, sounding a bit more like himself and I sigh in relief. "I don't want you to pay me back; that just detracts from its true status as a gift."

"Oh shut up," I smile before remembering Jamie, and I look back at him to see that his face is still all cold and blank and his eyes are like cool stones, little embers flickering from somewhere within.

"Hey, are you finished eating?" I ask him but he doesn't look at me, just stands up.

"Yeah, let's get out of here."

I stare up at him, but he looks away.

"What is your problem?" I finally ask but he doesn't even flinch. Instead, he fixes me with a look and then turns and stalks away.

He probably expects me to go chasing after him. I feel a flash of anger. But I won't. He can just walk off his weird attitude. I stab my spoon into my Jello – even though I hate Jello – and eat silently while Adam chatters on about some kind of program he found online or something like that, and Alyssa stares into her empty cup of dessert like it contains the answers to life. Eventually she looks up.