❝i want you to touch me there make me feel like i am breathing, feel like i am human ❞
𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇...
on the alter of the devil, up
is down, pleasure is pain,
darkness is light, slavery
is freedom, and madness
is sanity
𝐎𝐑...
𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧�...
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KAZ HAD CONSTANTLY WONDERED HOW he ended up where he was. He thought about if things had gone differently. Would his brother still be alive? Would he be with Verena, sitting on the wharf with their hands intertwined.
Kaz could never escape the carousel of thoughts that always turned in his head. It was like his mind was playing a cruel joke on him. He yearned for touch, but couldn't stand it. At every touch, his body flinched back, his brother's face appeared behind his eyes, and the deep, crystalline waters pulled in under.
The only way Kaz could stand the contact of someone else's touch was if he was in imminent danger that could send him the the lowest circle of hell. His mind pushed back the past nightmare and into the one in front of him. It was a sick, cruel joke.
It was either physically danger or emotional danger. No in between— no common ground where Kaz could be at peace. The only peace he received was from watching from afar. Kaz watched as people did people things. He watched people smile, laugh, and just live.
"Kaz?" Verena questioned, pulling Kas from his thoughts. Kaz blinked rapidly and straightened his back as he looked toward Verena with a deadpanned look. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, dove," he replied quickly, his voice sharp. Kaz pursed his lips as his tone brought back memories form the night before.
Kaz had his palm against Vernea's lower stomach, their eyes meeting in a long gaze that held incoherent messages. He felt her soft skin, the patch of freckles that dusted over her abdomen, and let his fingers graze over the stained skin of Verena's tattoo. His heart beat faster and faster as his body entered into a state of euphoria, but then it stopped.
Calloused and wrinkled hands grasped Kaz's ankles, water rose and slammed against his back in hard waves. Goosebumps rose across his scabrous skin as memories laced with terrors flashed across his sight. A watery grave landscaped over his vision as the feeling of Verean's warm skin turned cold, rugged, and littered with blisters.
He recoiled with a sharp gasp as if his chest was caving into it's self. All feeling of euphoria and delight washed away with the waves as they retreated to the floor.
"Kaz," Verena uttered softly as her gaze softened. Kaz huddled himself together in shame. Embarrassment and despair coursed thought his veins as he felt Verena's gaze. He thought he could do it.
"Kaz," Verena repeated louder. Kaz finally mustered up the courage to look at her. Instead of seeing the hurt expression that clouded Verean's crystalline eyes, her eyes were squinted with a small smile. Her chest filled with a feeling of happiness she never felt before.
Kaz had placed his palm against Verena for fourty-six seconds.
"Okay," Verena replied wearily with a nod, unconvinced. "Come on, the others are down stairs waiting for us."
