I Won't Give Up (Teacher/Student)

Chapter 16

Sixteen

My body was not my biggest fan when I woke up this morning. The fight with Dustin coupled with my cramped position on this couch left my bones aching. It also wasn't helpful that I didn't sleep at all last night despite exhausting any and every sleep tactic. I had counted to 100 and backward five times, imagined scenarios in my head, focused on my breathing, and none of it helped. All it did was leave me with the world's worst headache and a bad attitude that would be targeted at innocent people all day.

Caden's arm was wrapped around my torso, holding me tight against him. We still had two hours before we needed to get up, but I couldn't lay here anymore. Pulling his arm off of me slowly, I tiptoed to the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

Immediately shrugging off my sweater and shirt, I flicked on the light and stepped in front of the mirror, twisting and turning to see if Dustin had left any marks. On my neck was the faintest sign of fingers that no one would notice but me.

I didn't need to see the marks to know that they were there. I could feel them burning my skin, the smoke from the flames making their way through my nostrils and suffocating me.

My eyes had dark rings of black and purple, and my skin was starting to break out on my right cheekbone, an area that was normally reserved for peak levels of stress.

I guess this counts, Dee.

Stepping into the shower, I let the scalding water burn the rest of my skin in an attempt to remove the remnants of last night. I stood directly underneath the unforgiving drops and closed my eyes, parting my lips slightly to breathe. My chest rose and fell, and I tried so hard to ignore the burning in its center, building there ever since I woke up.

A cry slipped past my lips, and I brought my hand up to muffle the unrecognizable sound. I had done my fair share of crying in life, but never like this. Never to the point where my vision was going black and my knees were growing weak. Each sob shook my entire body, straining it past its final limits until I felt myself falling apart in this tight space, trapped just as I was in any other space I occupied.

I bit down on my lip and brought my shaking hands to my scalp, massaging it lightly, careful to avoid the sore spots from where Dustin had pulled my hair and pressed against my head.

As the sobs winded down, the tears continued to flow and mix with the now cold water. I turned the handle and reached for my hair, twisting it so that the remaining drops would fall to my feet.

My fingers ran across my face, pressing down into the skin underneath my eyes and along my cheeks.

No more of that.

Taking several deep breaths, I yanked the shower curtain back and stepped onto the padded mat. The bathroom's hot air was a sharp contrast from outside, prickling the exposed pores across my skin. I rushed into the bedroom and shut the door behind me, careful not to wake Caden who was still sleeping. If I was lucky, he'd still be asleep when I left and I'd use an early soccer practice as my excuse.

I pulled on a pair of black leggings and a large hoodie that stopped at the top of my thighs. I'd try my best to go unnoticed today and prayed that I wouldn't run into Dustin, though I don't know how prayer can help at this point. I tried nearly everything to end things with him, but nothing was successful. The only thing I hadn't tried was telling people what he had done, but no one would believe me. I wanted to be the girl who was strong and didn't take shit from anyone. I couldn't possibly also be the girl who was at the mercy of her boyfriend. Dustin and I both had an image that seemed to protect him and hurt only me.