Poems For The Paranormal

Thoughts.

You are the Epitome of the thoughts inside my head.

You can't leave me alone even when I'm sleeping.

Your memories you leave to me when you die away.

You can not see the way I am when I go to sleep.

The struggles I face when you call me out.

The thoughts you care to hear are not the ones I tell.

You told me to move on, that it's not all bad.

But you have obviously not seen the true me.

I am the sister of depression.

Something I am so close to cannot be so terrible.

But you haven't seen me at my worst.

I keep that to myself so you don't see me as a burden.

I make myself annoying so you don't see the underlying truth of me.

You can't tell my PTSD that it is a pretense of a false memory

because that is what I tell myself before I go to bed every night.

But that darkness that creeps into my bedroom tells me it is.

Its what keeps the Sage and Rosemary on my door and window at night to keep me safe from you.

But you live inside my memories and inside my head.

You cannot leave even when I heard that the real man who messed up my entire mind went to jail.

You are my depression.

You are my PTSD.

You are the man who destroyed my life from the time i was four until now.

Maybe if I destroy your life mine will lessen.

Maybe if I show you that I regret calling you father and you will not tear me down like you have in the past will change you.

But I know that you never will change.

And neither will I.