wooden spoon

2. until we leave this town

𓆩♡𓆪

the very only memory hyunjin can remember are camera flashes.

otherwise, he doesn't remember much.

hyunjin is barely four when his mother signs him up for child modeling. from there on, everything just comes naturally.

hyunjin becomes the face of toy companies, he rules commercials for chocolates and sweets and it's no rarity to see his face on other child-directed ads. it's no secret that his family is stupidly rich because of him.

his mother calls him "her little savior".

his father, eloquent as he is, calls him "monthly check".

hyunjins place in this family is pretty obvious.

𓆩♡𓆪

when thirteen year old hyunjin looks at his four year old self, he's not sure if he can even recognize the boy smiling back at him. it's a little hard to imagine that this used to be him since he has no memories of what happened in this time whatsoever. sometimes he catches himself trying to remember how he felt like, who his friends were, what his mother used to say to him. ultimately, he always fails.

"you probably don't remember because you were so busy!", his mother chirps, her smile is nothing but kind as she hands hyunjin a plate of cut up fruit. that's what she always answers when hyunjin asks her about his past. "maybe you just can't remember all your ads because there were so many, don't you think?".

his mother doesn't seem to understand that it's not the shootings he doesn't remember, but his entire life. he doesn't remember the first twelve years of his life - it's like hyunjin suddenly just appeared with a backstory somebody made up. the only proof that all of this happened are all the pictures, internet articles and that modeling is still his job now.

hyunjin sits at the hand-carved itialian dining table, his toes wiggle in his gucci-slippers while he lazily looks out of the window into the garden. his eyes stop at the jacuzzi and he sighs as he thinks about his schedule for today.

hyunjin has "given up" modeling for random toy stores and started modeling for things that were more relevant, as his agent likes to call it. chanel has officially announced a new release of clothing next month and hyunjin will be the face of most of them. sweet.

after being in this business for so long, hyunjin shouldn't be too nervous for this job, but the thirteen year old him can't help but wonder if he's gonna do good enough for this. "this is such a big opportunity for you!", his mother reminds him, again and again, but all hyunjin can hear is "for us". it's a big opportunity to get the car his father has been wanting so badly.

he doesn't really want to imagine what will happen if he fucks this up.

the pants are too tight and the hat is too small - hyunjin tugs on the shirt, which uncomfortably scratches his skin and changes his pose as the camera flashes again. he wonders if the photographer can see the sweat on his forehead, this room is too fucking hot to model in.

"hyunjin, glench your jaw a little", one of the managers says and hyunjin pushes his tongue to the roof of his mouth, biting down on his jaw so hardly that he can already feel the ache he's gonna have tonight. this shirt is so awfully uncomfortable, it drives hyunjin crazy.