Discovering the Devil

T w e n t y - O n e

XXI

HARRY could not fathom why Lord Hawthorne was still dawdling. He'd smoked too many of Zachary's precious cigars. He'd bored them to tears with meaningless tittle-tattle. Even Lord Vatterly, who was the only reason behind Holt's visit, was getting increasingly agitated by the fool's presence. Why wouldn't the man just leave? At one point, Harry could no longer take it. He left Zachary's sitting room to go out for what he excused as "fresh air" before escaping outside. He'd never been so happy to see the evening sun. Unfortunately, his solace only lasted for a few minutes. A womanly shoulder brushed against his. Harry turned to see who it was, and by then, it was too late for any of them to pretend they hadn't seen each other.

"Lady Holt."

"Lord Hawthorne." There was a painful pause.

Harry opened his mouth to say something about going inside when he heard her say, "I am so sorry."

Harry blinked. "You're sorry?"

She threaded her fingers together and pressed them against the back of her hands. "I...I never had the opportunity to apologize for what happened." Only then did Harry realize that the disdain he saw in her eyes hadn't really been disdain at all—it was regret.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Lady Holt."

"Melody, please. There's no need for formalities here."

Harry wouldn't dare. It was far too intimate. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes, I did." Her voice splintered with emotion. "I made you feel like it was all your fault."

"It was my fault." Harry took a breath to keep his voice level. "I did this to you."

"You did not do anything to me." Melody extended a hand to cover his own. "You loved me. Unapologetically. Unconditionally. It was society that ruined me."

"I knew what the consequences would be when I got involved with you. I shouldn't have ever put you in that situation."

"You couldn't help it," Melody pointed out. "You were in love."

Harry's throat ached. "It does not matter."

"Yes, it does. Harry, you could not help that they vilified you any more than you could help how much you loved me," Melody said emphatically. There were tears in her eyes. "And I'm so sorry for making it seem like you were the cause of.." Her words fell off on what sounded suspiciously like a sob. "Like you were the cause of all the terror that happened when my parents found out about us."

Harry could recall that fateful day of four years past with crystal clarity. He'd been cavorting with his paramour for so long undetected, he'd begun to take safety for granted. There was a long kiss in a garden at night—Melody had been reluctant but Harry had absolved her of all worries—and peeping eyes who'd reported to their betters about what they saw in the morning. Harry could not understand why anyone had bothered to tell, if they were in that garden at ungodly hours at the same time they probably weren't up to any good either. Still, it did not matter. Melody had been seen sharing a kiss with Satan, and thus, her fate was sealed. "It shouldn't have happened. I could have spared us so much pain."

"No!" Melody exclaimed. The firmness in her voice surprised both of them. " Don't say that. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me."

Harry cocked his head. He was genuinely bewildered. "How can you say that?"

"How can I not? You were the first man I ever loved." The hand that covered his own squeezed. "Yes, there was pain and anguish, but there was also so much happiness. When my parents ordered me to marry Lord Holt, when my friends ostracized me, when people turned their noses at me...I was angry. I wanted someone to blame, so I blamed you. I never should've ended things the way I did. I've regretted it ever since."