Fanfic Short Stories

Stargate Atlantis & The Big Bang Theory: The Professor Proton Resonance

Story description: Sheldon and Rodney bond over Professor Proton

A/N: Set after the Stargate: Atlantis finale, when the Stargate is still on Earth. ** A little handwaving over the timeline **

Inspired by an AO3 Chocolate Box prompt.

The Professor Proton Resonance

"Well, that's never going to work," announced Sheldon Cooper.

"Excuse me," Rodney McKay said, "but I know it works. We've already done a variation of the same approach two years ago, and it was an unqualified success."

Zelenka snorted.

"Did you have something to add?" Rodney asked.

Zelenka rolled his eyes. "We barely survived."

"It built character," Rodney insisted. "And I've been refining it ever since."

"It's refined garbage," Sheldon said. "Let me see the original — the version that supposedly worked."

Rodney brought up a file. "I'll show you supposedly!"

After an hour of reading, Sheldon shook his head. "As I suspected, this never should have succeeded. See these fluctuations? The only reason the entire base didn't explode is because of a fluke energy charge."

"That was no fluke!" Rodney protested. "I planned for that. Those energy charges had been occurring all day, with increasing frequency."

"But you couldn't predict when the next one would happen. Such a haphazard approach hardly merits the term science," Sheldon sneered. "Honestly, Leonard could have done the same thing. Or even Bill Nye."

"That guy... You wouldn't believe what I had to put up with from him. I don't know what people see in him. Give me Professor Proton any day."

"Exactly! I was Professor Proton's biggest fan, and he was as wonderful in person as he was on his television show." Sheldon sighed. "I miss him."

Rodney froze for a moment. "Are you saying..."

"He passed away," Sheldon confirmed.

"No one told me. We missed a lot, of course, but Professor Proton seemed timeless. I never thought..." Rodney surreptitiously wiped his eyes.

"Did you see the episode about measuring pH levels?"

"He had hydrangeas that were different colors due to the level of acidity in the soil!" Rodney smiled. "Hydrangeas were my favorite flower after that. I insisted we plant them in our yard and I took care of them." He frowned. "Until a bee stung me. I'm deathly allergic to bees."

"Oh, bees are the worst!" Sheldon agreed.

An hour later, Colonel Sheppard walked in. "How's it going?" he asked Zelenka.

"The good news is, they've stopped arguing."

"Uh-huh. And the bad news?"

"They're so busy reenacting Professor Proton episodes, they haven't made any progress on the formulas."

"Who's Professor Proton?" Sheppard asked.

Rodney and Sheldon stopped talking and stared at him.

"You haven't heard of Professor Proton?" Rodney asked.

"Run," Zelenka suggested under his breath. "They're like members of a cult."

Sheppard stood his ground. "Let me put it this way. What would Professor What's-his-name think about these formulas? You know, the mission-critical ones that we need to have ASAP?"

"That's an interesting question," Sheldon said.

"There's something to be said for going back to the basics," Rodney agreed. "Perhaps we need to start from a fresh perspective. For instance, if we consider this section, is there anything we can eliminate?" Rodney rolled his chair back to the monitors and scrolled up.

"We prove the simplest form of the equation first, and then add the other parameters once we have a solid foundation. Of course!" Sheldon started scribbling notes.

Sheppard nodded to Zelenka. "My work here is done."

A/N: I'm grateful to Bill Nye the Science Guy for appearing as a guest star on both shows, where he played himself.