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Chapter 18 - "Play nice."

Donovan slammed his fist against his punching bag one more time before he groaned inwardly and proceeded to hit his forehead against the leather. When his head started to throb, he stopped and rested his forehead on the bag.

What had he been thinking? He hadn't, that much was clear to him. With his head still leaning on the bag, he hit the side of it, the previous night playing over in his head.

Groaning out loud this time, he backed away from the bag. He kicked it with the side of his foot once before tearing off his gloves and giving up on his workout. Showered and dressed, he stood in front of the mirror brushing his teeth with more force than was needed.

"What are you afraid of, Carter? Being hurt or letting someone else in?"

He stopped, spat out the toothpaste, and swore. Cleaning his toothbrush, he tossed it into the cup and left the bathroom. He collected his phone from his bedside table, the inquisitive messages from his brothers about his double date still waiting to be answered.

He had no answer. The only answer there was to give was the male emoji face-palming himself. But sending that would only open a storm of derision from his brothers. Donovan was giving himself enough of that for all of them.

When he picked Link up from his apartment, Donovan knew what he was going to ask Link and why he was going to ask him this question, and hated himself for it. But at that moment he couldn't let Link see how off-kilter he felt. He needed to realign himself without the concern or curiosity of his best friend. So he asked the one question he knew would mean he wouldn't have to talk the entire way to school.

"How do you feel last night went?" Donovan asked as they climbed into the elevator.

As he'd predicted, that was all the opening Link needed to spew out his concerns, hopes, and doubts. Donovan drove, listening to the endless monologue, letting it be all he focused on. It helped break the constant replay of the conversation he had with Carter the night before.

"What do you think?" Link asked.

Donovan rounded the car to join him and the pair cut a path through the parking lot.

"She held your hand and wanted to go for frozen yogurt, that shows she likes you and wanted to spend more time with you. Look at her actions and don't overanalyze your own thoughts. Actions tell the truth."

Link let out a breath and nodded. They entered the school and Donovan hated how his own words bit him when his instant reaction was to search the mass of students for one face. Donovan rationalized his reaction, after all, he needed to gauge Carter's mood as soon as he could. How much had the lake frozen even more overnight? Would there even be a possibility of thawing the ice? 

He finally spotted her down the hallway near their chemistry class, leaning against a set of lockers. Donovan hesitated, last night in his stupidity to chip away at Carter's wall, he'd created a stronger one between them. Though he wanted to apologize for his actions he wondered if he should. Maybe it would be better if there were a wall between them.

"There's Maddy," Link said.

Donovan gave Link a tiny shove in her direction.

"It will be fine, don't overthink just go talk to her," he said.

The words encouraged Link but Donovan didn't think his own advice would work in his own case. Still, there was only one way to find out whether that wall remained where it was. Donovan crossed over to Carter and hesitated near her, not sure what to even say.

But at the slight curl in her lips, Donovan wondered if he'd made as bad a blunder as he'd thought. Maybe, like Link, he'd spent too much time overthinking. But then he remembered the look in her eyes and knew he'd screwed up. But for whatever reason at that moment Carter wasn't letting him know how much.