Knockout (Gaslight spin-off)

43| Now or never

I wake up the morning of the fight struggling to breathe. My nightmares last night had featured me in the ring, getting annihilated by Katarina, so I'm not just cranky when my alarm goes off; I'm downright terrified.

I sit up in bed, resting my hand over my fast-beating heart while trying to catch my breath. It's just a dream, I repeat like a mantra. It's just a dream, it's just a dream, it's just a dream. But a voice whispers back: what if it's not?

Until now, I've done an excellent job of pretending I can do this, but now that it's here, so are all those long-suppressed doubts, like why did I agree to this? Why didn't I try harder to convince Maddie to fight? Why did I think I could win?

As if she hears my self-doubt, my phone buzzes with a message from Maddie. Not just Maddie but a whole group chat filled with everyone from the gym. All at once, I'm bombarded with emojis and good luck messages, which makes me tear up. Part of the reason I've been so terrified is that this fight isn't just for me. It's for Coach and Hayden and everyone else, so their support means more than they know.

Win or lose, you're a champion to us, Wiley writes.

Yup, rooting for you, dollface, Auden comments.

And feeling nervous is normal, Maddie writes. The night I fought, I threw up. You've got this.

It's true, Hayden replies. I had to hold her hair back.

I laugh and feel my heart rate settle, if only for a moment. As grateful as I am for their unwavering support, it only adds to the pressure. If I lose this fight tonight, I'm not just letting myself down, but them too.

My nerves return with unparalleled vengeance. I click off our chat and check social media, surprised by the influx of followers. Tons of people have commented on my picture, and while I'm not sure of the exact number of those showing up, I'm certain, based on this, that it's going to be a lot.

Shit.

I grab Coach's keyring and hold it in my palm to calm down. More than ever, I find myself wishing he could be the one to stand in my corner. I wish I could look over at him, mid-fight when I'm tired and ready to quit, and have his familiar face urge me on. But I can't, and that's what scares me the most.

When I can't delay the inevitable any longer, I put the keyring down and move to the bathroom, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Despite my doubts, my gaze appears determined, and my muscles tense with anticipation. I splash cold water on my face, hoping against hell to hold onto this confidence in time for the fight, or else I'll quit before I've started.

By the time I've dressed and reached the kitchen, Mom has cooked enough breakfast to feed a whole army. Cody is already in his seat for once, and even Dad is busy tucking into pancakes.

"Morning, sweetie," Mom says when she sees me. "I didn't know what would give you fuel before your fight, so I made a bit of everything."

I raise my eyebrows, scanning the fruit basket before taking in the toast, but I can't eat a bite. I'm too nervous. "Looks delicious."

Cody grins through his bacon. "It is delicious. Dad says it'll make you strong for your fight."

I smile and sit between them before reaching for a fork. It's been forever since we've done this whole family breakfast thing, but strangely, it's the perfect start to my morning; we feel like the old us again.

"I'll have some eggs," I say as Mom piles them on my plate, "but I'll probably throw them back up."

Dad reaches over, ruffling my hair like I'm a little kid again. "You'll be fine, Cassie bear. As long as you give it your all, that's all that matters. And we'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, right, Cody?"