Sacrifice and Surrender

16: Fear

Madara felt Sakura slip out of the bed, trying not to disturb him. He kept his breathing deep and even, and watched her through mostly closed eyes, glimpsing at her naked form through his dark lashes.

His heart clenched and rolled at the sight of her. His mind played over the memories of the night before. The way her eyes softened with feeling, but still held that little spark of determination he so loved in them. The way her body trembled and shook under his touch, the way that she bit her lip unconsciously making his knees weak. He could still feel her hot breath in his ear, her fingernails digging into his skin, the way they moved together. He swallowed. She was everything, everything he'd ever dreamed of and wanted.

But that look in her eyes before they went to sleep, the feelings that she tried to suppress worried him and his heart clenched because as much as he knew his feelings for her, as much as he was certain of her... he knew that she wasn't. The night wasn't a mistake, but he was beginning to doubt if she was really ready for it. She sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall, and Madara felt like if he moved or spoke, she'd break. There was something so fragile about her at that moment. Her usual strength had vanished and she looked small and frightened, her shoulder slightly curled forward, and her arms wrapped around herself like she was trying to hold herself together. He knew that she thought he was still asleep, otherwise he couldn't imagine her ever showing such vulnerableness.

She was scared of losing him, she'd made that much clear before they fell asleep. Even though he felt immense joy knowing that, he also didn't miss the fact that she hadn't said that she loved him. That the most she'd even voiced about her feelings was the reciprocal 'you're mine' she had uttered, and he knew that possessive speech didn't portray true feelings. It made him nervous. He felt like she was going to disappear, and if she did, he wasn't sure if he'd survive it. That knowledge of his own dependency on her made him feel like the biggest fool in the world. Flirtation, fleeting moments together, and a single night shared in passion did not mean they were tied together in any way, as much as he wished they were.

He saw her begin to take deep breaths, her back rising and falling and he frowned a little. He could feel the unease, the panic rolling off her body. He didn't understand what exactly she was so terrified of, but whatever it was, it wasn't going to be easy for her to get past. He moved his leg, and she suddenly snapped out of her thoughts and panic and turned back to him. He blinked tiredly, feigning waking.

"Good morning," she said quietly, pulling the blanket of the bed up and around her.

Madara lifted himself up to his elbows.

"Good morning," he greeted her with a soft smile. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she replied with a fake smile and distance in her eyes. "Just thinking."

Madara didn't push her. He sat up completely and wiped his eyes and looked out the window. Dawn had broken.

"I should go," Sakura murmured. "I need to change my clothes."

She stood to dress, and Madara watched her as she moved around, putting on the same clothes as the night before. Madara leaned over and picked up his shirt from the floor and passed it to her.

"Wear this over the top," he said. "It's a little cool out."

She gave him a grateful little smile and slipped on his shirt. It was far too big, two of her could have fit inside it. She giggled lightly.

"I'll see you later," she said, a foot on the window.

"Sakura," Madara called to her just before she jumped out.

She looked back at him questioningly. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say, so he just shook his head.

"Nothing. I'll see you later."