God is lost hope
God is despair. I've kissed his hands. I sank my teeth into his flesh to stop the chattering.
We spoke softly; I couldn't muster more than a whisper. I asked him where he sleeps. I can't feel him around me. I'm plagued with the fear of abandonment
'Inside of you'
He said it so plainly. Simply matter of fact
'And him. And her.
Inside the fire pit.
Inside the sink surrounded by unwashed dishes'
I wanted to drown out his words.
'I am the fly you killed last week'
I want to ask if he saw how hard I cried after. He did; He will never admit it. I want to ask him why,
Why does my hand fit so well in hers?
Why does the clock seem to tick backwards?
Why cant I hear my mother's voice?
Why have you left me?
Where did you go?
He tells me to check underneath the doormat
