𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 / 𝚖. 𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗

²

trigger warnings ;

¹. eating disorder
². self-harm

"y/n... if i were you, i wouldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror"

"leave me alone"

"to be honest, i don't know how you do that... waking up uglier everyday..." floch continued, putting a hand on your shoulder.

"...why do you do this...?"

"you'll never know how fun it is to bully you"

"that's fun to you? leaving comments about someone's appearance and making them hate everything about themselves?"

"you make me fucking sick, floch" you added, slapping his hand away from your shoulder.

you walked past him, hearing the laughs of him and his friends. tears rolled down your cheeks, as you desperately tried to find anyone.

mikasa had come down with the flu and you couldn't find sasha or armin anywhere.

you went to the bathrooms and got in a stall. with shaky hands, you took out your phone and frantically tried to contact mikasa.

you heard the exit door opening and not even a second later, there was a bang at your stall's door. laughter could be heard, before the exit door closed— making the sound fade away.

you placed your hand on the doorknob of your stall and tried to open the door, yet, something was in the way. your eyes widened and your breathing became unstable.

"no... no. no. no!"

no matter how much you tried, you couldn't get the door to open.

you took some steps back— the back of your legs meeting the toilet.

you dialed mikasa's number, as you wiped the snot from under your nose. you heard it ring two times, before it was picked up.

"y/n?"

"hey..."

"what's wrong? why are you crying?"

"oh yeah... i wonder why..."

"what did that monster say to you?"

"this doesn't matter, right now"

"why doesn't it—"

"mika, someone locked me in a bathroom stall"

"what?!"

"i came in here to call you because i wanted to calm down, but, someone else came and they put something outside of the door and i can't open it" you sobbed.

"text sasha to come and help you out!"

"she's in class and mr. smith doesn't allow phones"

"fuck! i forgot about him!"

"i'm scared, mikasa..." you whispered, after some seconds of staying silent.

"take deep breaths, love. i'm here with you"

"i just want you to be really here. and not just on the phone"

"i know... and trust me, i want to be there, too!"

"i'm gonna go crazy if i stay here a little longer..."

"hang up!"

"what?!"

"hang up. i'll call my uncle to come and get you out"

you did as she asked you to. you hang up the phone and waited. not long after, you heard the bathroom door open and the screeching sound of a chair.

the door to your stall finally opened, revealing the man.

"thank you, mr. ackerman..." you said, looking down at your feet in shame. 

you wouldn't be able to stand staying another second in the school, so you took your belongings from your locker and left.

floch's words were stuck in your head, as you stared at yourself in the mirror.

"i hate you, y/n"

"i hate you so much"

tears of frustration and anger rolled down your cheeks, as you punched and destroyed the full-length mirror in front of you.

you looked at the broken glasses around you, the blood on your hands and your clothes, and the droplets that fell on your wooden floor.

in those broken pieces, you could still see your reflection.

every little lie that you never wanted to believe, have never felt more true to you than it did that moment.

"floch's right... i'm fat... and ugly... and i don't have a reason to wake up every morning..."

but you had a reason.

and that reason was none other than mikasa ackerman. 

too consumed by your self-hate, you forgot your reason.

you picked up a shred of glass with your blood-covered fingers, and you started the beginning of your end.