Tales from the Intermediate (gxg)

Chapter 19

Part 3: The Witch

Farren and Charlie sat in silence, hand in hand in the backseat for the rest of the movie. They didn't say anything else, only shared popcorn and let the height of their intense moment linger in the air. Farren's lips were buzzing from the kiss, and she wanted so desperately to grab Charlie and kiss her again.

The silence in the car was awkward as they drove back to the hotel. Matt, blissfully unaware of everything, rambled about the movie in his nerdy ways. Charlie and Farren were too busy thinking about their kiss, and Dani was too busy thinking about witnessing it. Another thing on Charlie's mind that had remained forgotten the instant her lips touched Farren's was the confession and the fact that Dani didn't know. Charlie now knew what happened to Dani's parents... She had to tell her. But how? When? How would she react? She already acted like she wanted to kill Farren, and although it wasn't Farren's fault and Charlie knew that, Dani could act irrationally when she was angry. They were put under enough stress as is—Dani didn't need that entire separate trauma added onto the situation. But Charlie already felt guilty knowing about it and not telling her best friend. She was caught.

They were all pretty tired when they got back to the hotel and resorted to going to their separate rooms. Dani didn't say a word to Charlie, and Charlie worried that she had heard Farren's confession. Deciding not to bring it up, she went into her and Farren's room and laid down on the bed with a sigh.

Her face still slightly red from crying, Farren laid down beside Charlie and mimicked her sigh. They both stared up at the ceiling in silence, both trying to think of what to say.

"So," Farren began, clearing her throat. "I spilled my guts to you. It's your turn."

Charlie looked over to Farren to see she was already looking at her. There was a soft smile on her face, and she seemed more comfortable around Charlie now than she did before. "Oh... well there's not really much to say."

"There has to be," Farren said, turning on her side towards Charlie and resting her head on her elbow. "You told me that night at dinner with your parents that you dropped out. What happened?" she asked as softly as she could.

What happened? It was the question Charlie had been asking herself ever since that day her dorm room swallowed her whole. Why had she failed? Why had she lost focus?

Sighing, she turned her head back to the ceiling and waited for it to start spinning and swelling, but it didn't. Farren was there, and she had room, and she could breathe.

"I did well all throughout college. I kept my head down and studied. I was a perfect student. I was almost there. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I... I don't know what happened. I lost grip on everything. I lost the meaning of it all. I didn't know my purpose. I burned out. I mean, what am I even supposed to be doing? There's people our age getting married and having kids, or graduating and getting a job. Then there's me. I've done none of those things. Where am I supposed to be? Somewhere in the middle, like I always am? I'm never social enough, but not antisocial. I'm never pretty enough, but not ugly. I'm never smart enough, but not dumb. I'm not poor, but not rich. I went to college, but didn't graduate. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm post-college and pre-death. There's nothing in between. I'm tired of being stuck in the middle—in the middle of everything, all the fucking time. It's like my scales were predestined to never balance. I'm just stuck, Farren. I'm caught."

It was only a glimpse into everything she had been feeling for the past year, and for her entire life, but it was the best she could do. Her situation was so indescribable and so vague and without cause that she couldn't even put it into words.