Then & Now

Chapter Twenty-One

MAISY

I don't know how long I sit there for, but when the light finally starts to draw back from the foyer, I know I have to get up. I need to pack my bags and prepare to leave town. That's what I should to be doing, focusing on the future, not the past.

But I can't seem to make myself move.

Coming home was the wrong decision. I didn't handle things well. Logan deserved better. But most of all, I hate that this is how we were going to leave things between us. For some reason it feels so much worse than the last time.

My heart clenches and I look down at my hands, remembering what I'm capable of and vowing not to drag him into any of it. But none of that matters because I never planned on intruding in his life again.

I grab onto the door handle and use it to haul myself up off the floor. My muscles are cramped from sitting so long so I move stiffly towards the stairs. The Manila envelope is still clutched in my hand as I head to the second floor, slowly making my way up the steps. I can have my bags packed in a half hour and can be on the road in two.

This time I really plan on leaving the past behind. There will be no coming back. I begin to take the steps two at a time, my resolve growing with each one until I reach my room. My bag is on the floor and I throw it onto my bed. I know how to do this; I'm an expert at making a quick getaway. I've had enough practice over the years.

Eli and I had been together for a little over three years and nothing had changed. I still didn't ask questions and neither did he. We both had our secrets, separate lives that we kept hidden away from each other. But maybe that's just how relationships worked because it felt normal to me; it's what I knew. I'd seen my mother do it and I'd even done with Justin; I always kept him distanced from everything that went on in my home. I wasn't afraid though, and it'd been a long time since I'd felt that way. Eli was always sweet to me when we spent time together, but I got lonely when he wasn't around, and he wasn't around a lot.

So, I continued to throw myself into my school work and started editing papers online for extra cash. Eli might not have wanted me to have a job, but after living with my mother I knew the importance of squirreling some money away. The years started to bleed together, and it didn't take long before I realized I wasn't going anywhere. Eli and I didn't talk about the past, the present, or the future and that started not to feel like enough anymore.

I shove my clothes into my bag, not bothering to fold them. I didn't know where I was going, but I would deal with it when I got there. The Manila envelope sat on my bed. I knew I'd eventually have to sign the damn things and deliver them back to Logan's office, but I refused to think about that right now.

Stuffing the last of my items into my bag, I furiously tug at the zipper until I finally get the stupid thing closed. My body droops in relief. I'm one step closer to getting out of here. I stare at the Manila envelope and hesitate. It's the last obstacle in my way.