Into the Starry Night

Fifteen - Part Two

I had just stepped out of the elevator, pulse barely returned to normal when the next act of the great shitshow that was my life began in earnest.

It opened with Essy bumping into me outside the door to the main hall where strains of music were audible.

"Amarachi, oh my God, there you are, thank Jehovah," was what she greeted me with.

The problem was between her tinny voice and the uncontrollable wailing of the toddler in her arms, I didn't know which was more annoying.

"Esther, whose child is that?"

"I don't know oh," Essy's eyes flashed with panic as she attempted to soothe the bawling child. All her efforts did was aggravate the little girl who was currently losing fluid and minerals by the gallon. "One auntie handed her to me and said she was going to get her blanket from the car. She must've been trampled by an elephant because that was two hours ago! Sh, it's ok little one."

Essy began bouncing the little girl around. It looked a little ridiculous the way they contrasted each other - Essy in her floor-length yellow gown with a thigh-high slit and the little girl in a hideous pink tulle contrivance that couldn't even be classified as clothing not to talk of a dress - and I would've laughed if I hadn't been horribly irritated by the high-pitched screaming.

"So why are you thanking God you saw me? I want nothing to do with this."

"Please, just help me hold her for a while," before I could even get a word in Essy was already countering. "I've tried everyone I know. Dijah is acting like this little girl will give her a life-threatening disease despite having twins almost her age, Annie legit fainted when I asked her, and I can't find Aaliyah. You're my last hope, abeg."

"No, no, absolutely not. I have a lot to deal with as it is, I do not need this."

"Please. Joor. I need to pee so badly. Thank you."

Despite my continued refusal Essy pressed the child into my arms and took off down the hall.

And that was how I was stuck with an ambulance siren that somehow got incarnated into a human being.

"It's ok, hon, please stop crying," I begged as I bounced her in my arms. She weighed a little more than a loaf of bread and smelt like baby soap.

All my actions seemed to do was anger her even more because the pitch of her screaming went up an octave, her delicate pink mouth contorting with the weight of her wail. I did not think that was even possible.

"This is why I hate kids." I sighed. "Come on, let's go find who you belong to."

Stepping into the hall transported me into a dream made of white roses and glitter.

The circular tables with their starched white cloths were peppered around the room in a way that ensured free movement but at the same time were close enough for people to communicate with each other. Each table had an elaborate centerpiece made of white roses and fairy lights with the table reserved for the wedding party getting the worst of the decoration.

The band had set up on stage on one side of the enormous hall and had started entertaining the few guests that had arrived to some melodious tunes, even though their heinous lead singer was nowhere in sight.

The only good thing about this party so far was the open bar and I headed there with my prepubescent klaxon.

"I'll take the strongest liquor you have. Neat."

The bartender looked from me to the wailing child in my arms and opened his mouth. The death glare I leveled his way caused him to close his stupid mouth and adjust the spotless cuff of his gray tuxedo. He went about preparing my drink.