MARRED

CHAPTER TWELVE - LEFT WITH BICKERING

Amanah

“…Look… uhm… I have to go… I have some documents to get back to.”
It was not completely a lie, though I did not think I could concentrate in any work at the moment.

In the future, when he sees me talking to a man, would he think to give me the benefit of doubt first or throw me to the wolves for infidelity?

Truth was, I did not know what to think and I just got too mentally exhausted to worry about anything right now.
My phone buzzed. It was a text from Ahmad. I have had four missed calls from him since I ended his call.

Pickup now or I will come down there.
The nerve of him to threaten me when he was responsible for the state I was in.

Then the phone rang again. I ignored it. I did not think was in any state of mind to answer his call. I was not angry with him. I was just disappointed. It never occurred to me before that I might have to guard against him. It was an unwelcome realization.

And then, a text came in again.
Amanah. If you do not pick my call this instant, you will have more reasons to not talk to me soon.

I was not scared of Ahmad or his threats. The worst that could happen here was that I would feel uncomfortable and quit working here… The thoughts of that sent shivers down my spine, and sub-consciously, my hand clicked on the answer button.

“Amma, are you angry?” He asked, not even sending his taslim. “It is not that I do not trust you.” He continued. “By Allah, I only know good and decent things about you. I was just… jealous. I saw the way Kamal looked at you. And don’t you dare say he does not have such intentions. I am a man Amma. I know these things when I see them.”

He was blabbing. He must have realized it because he slowed down in his next lines. “Amma? Are you there? Did I hurt you? Amma, please can you wait till we return home to discuss this, In shaa Allah?”

I was still silent. I did not know what to say.

“Amanah?”

“O… Okay.” I cleared my throat which suddenly felt clogged. Truth was that I did not even understand how I felt.

“I am sorry.” It was the second time he was saying that today.

“Okay.” I repeated.

“And I love you.”

His unexpected confession had my heart fluttering like a silly child’s. My heart, clearly despite it’s confusion, recognized the desperate need for the three words between us and like the weak one it was, melted into them.

“I will see you in an hour In Shaa Allah. It’s almost time for Asr now.”

I nodded, as though expecting he could see me.

Five Minutes after the call ended, I stood there staring at my reflection in the bathroom’s dressing mirror.

Was this how things were going to be from now? I get confused about something and he just utters the magic words and everything is sorted out?

The humour in that did not escape me. He was the baker, and I was the flour in the palm of his hands. With just a little water, I could be molded to whatever shape and form that pleased him.

The sound of footsteps jolted me back to reality. Of course, It was Asr and many would be needing the toilet for wuduu’.

“Amanah, you are here.” Raihanah said, walking in with Hidayyah.

“Yeah. Sorry I am not done with your review.”

“That’s Ok my dear.” She said turning the tap on. “You can take your time. Those guys are not even ready. Can you imagine they have not paid a dime for the registration?” She asked as she began her wuduu’.