Wednesday, December 21st.

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"You wouldn't believe how awful the dinner with James' family was last Sunday

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"You wouldn't believe how awful the dinner with James' family was last Sunday." I grab the menu sitting in front of me, trying to catch my breath from rushing in with Hazel. I may be getting most of the mom stuff down, but the 'being on time with the toddler' part wasn't my strong suit.

Sienna sips the ice tea she had ordered while waiting for Hazel and me to show up.

I hoped we weren't too late, but as I look at the clock on my phone, I notice we were at least fifteen minutes late. My stomach curls up inside itself, feeling the need to mention how sorry I was and how I wasn't used to this, but I'd rushed in here and already started the conversation about my problems. Shaking my head, I tried to decide quickly what food I was going to get, and what would be easiest for Hazel to eat as well.

"What happened? I know you don't normally enjoy your time with them, and this was the big annual holiday meal and skating, wasn't it?" I nod, grabbing Hazel's sippy cup for her. She takes it eagerly, pulling it to her lips to get a drink of water.

"I'm so sorry Sienna, I didn't mean to be so late and then immediately make everything about myself. I'm still getting used to being a stay-at-home mom. But yes, it was the big annual dinner, and we had to have a fun conversation about how I'm not a good enough mother since I didn't stay home with my baby. That I'm a horrible wife because James stays home with her instead. The poor child will be ruined because of my parenting choices. Keep in mind James does nothing wrong in this scenario besides going with whatever I'm thinking or saying." I pause to take a breath, brushing my frizzy dark hair out of my face. I knew I should have thrown it up in a ponytail this morning, but I just ran out of time to get ready.

"Hazel is like the most well-behaved toddler I've ever met, and you guys give her everything she could and would ever want or need. How could they not see that?" Sienna takes another drink of her tea, placing it on the far end of the table to avoid a reaching child.

"I have no clue. If they would just spend some time with her, they would see how amazing she is. I mean, I can't blame them too much. If we are being completely honest, I'm at the same point. I didn't quite realize how excellent she was until I got fired." Would I have ever noticed all the fun I could have with Hazel if it weren't for my boss forcing me to? I couldn't answer that question, but every single day with her made me realize that getting fired wasn't the end all, be all that I thought it was.

"So what you are saying is it's a good thing you aren't at Engage anymore?"

"I honestly think so. This holiday season I've been able to be present and spend so much time with my family. This is the first year that James didn't have to go to his family dinner with Hazel alone, and though maybe those were better years, but It's not ideal to be working so damn hard right before Christmas. Employees need time to breathe. There's nothing in the news that would really matter so much that it couldn't wait currently, especially not in the celebrity garbage we were writing and editing."

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