Gorgeous

Chapter 101

Chris pov...

"Are you okay dad..." Nova whispered and i looked at her and gave her a little smile. "I am fine sweetheart..." I whisper... She sat down next to me and hugged me, and we both cried... Ava, Sky and Star were saying goodbye to people... I didn't have it in me... Vera was gone... My gorgeous... gone... She had fought so hard but lost the battle... Cancer had taken her...

I was numb and tried to stay strong for my girls but i was having a hard time... I was not new to loss but losing my gorgeous cut deep and hurt more than anything i had ever felt... I lost my mom and oldest sister and that hurt... but this.... What came close was the loss of our little boy... But this was something on a whole different scale... When Vera died a part of me died to and it felt like my whole world stopped... If it wasn't for my girls...

"You gave a really nice speech dad..." Nova said laying her head on my shoulder and let out a sigh. "No speech could do her justice..." I whispered. "I know..." She whispered back. "You know what i keep thinking..." I said and Nova looks at me shaking her head. "All i keep thinking is that i need your mom... That i can't get through this without your mom... She was always so much stronger than me..." I mumble and Nova hugs me again. 

"Grandpa are you sad?" We heard and i wiped my tears as Ava's little boy crawled into my lap. "Yeah, grandpa is sad buddy..." I said hugging him holding him close. I started to think about the day Ava got married. Vera and i were so happy for her... Vera had gone dress shopping with her, and she was so happy and proud of her... She looked so much like her mother... She had graduated top of her class at Yale law and was an amazing lawyer... She had married a few years after... She had 3 children 2 girls... Twins and 1 boy... The girls were named Willow and Hazel and the boy was named Harry... Harry being the youngest and was now 6 years old... Nova was married to, but she had gone to the courts just like me and her mother...  She didn't want kids she was more than content with being the fun aunt. Sky had a boyfriend and had no intention on getting married yet... She was a free spirit... Star and her wife had adopted a little girl Grace... They had gotten married just to adopt her and we threw them a big party after...

Ava, Sky and Star walked into the room and Ava took Harry from me and gave him to her husband. They were going to stay with me here at the house tonight. The thought of being alone scared me... and i think they knew... 

All my girls had come home as soon as we found out Vera was sick, and they had been my rocks... It was just so hard to know she was gone... My gorgeous wife... was no longer with us. It hurts... It hurts so bad... I started sobbing again and they all hugged me like they did when they were little kids. 

My heart hurt... A piece of me had died... We sat there for a while telling stories... About the time she brought home donkey from the shelter as they couldn't house it... She loved him so much that the girls often joked that she loved that donkey more than them. 

We all laughed at all the funny stories but mostly we cried... because she was our rock... She was the one we would go to for advice... 

We talked about how she would always hold dance parties like she did with her grandma... She said it was keeping a tradition alive... I loved it... I loved watching her dance with our girls... All dressed up in fancy outfits... She kept all the dresses from events we would go to, and she would dress the girls in them, and then they had fancy tea parties... They would have art and crafts days on rainy days... We talked about the snowball fights we would have in the yard... 

She always said i was a hands-on dad... but she was always here... She was the one to make the boo boo's go away... She was the one who comforted our girls when they were sad. She was a constant factor and now she was gone... I just didn't know how i would go on without her... She was the reason our girls were the strong fearless women they are today...

She would take the girls shopping making a day of it the last time was only a few weeks before we found out she was sick. Even when we told the girls she was sick... She was so strong comforting them... They had regular girl days... It would always end with all of us going out to dinner... I loved our dinners out or at home... We would talk about our days... i think that was the reason we were so close... Vera always made sure we had one moment in the day for just us to talk and have fun together as a family... We had game nights and just like me all our girls were competitive... It would drive Vera crazy sometimes...

I cried in her arms the night she died... She told me whatever happened everything would be okay... The last thing she told me before she died was how much she loved me... She thanked me for loving her and giving her the most amazing life, anyone could ask for... 

All i could say that i was the one who should be thankful and that i loved her so much... I told her it was okay... She was in pain and that it was okay to go... The girls said goodbye to her, and she slowly drifted to sleep and never woke up again... It was like i couldn't breathe... but she was in pain, and it was better like this... At least she wouldn't have pain anymore but God i missed her already... 

The service was beautiful... Nova and Ava had arranged everything i just couldn't... Sky had sung a song she had written especially for their mother, and it was beautiful... Star had said some words and i did to although i barely could get it out...

And now i was sitting here with my girls our pride and joys... but my heart was broken... It hurt so much... I told them that their mom loved them so much and that she fought her hardest to stay with them. 

After a while i told them i was going to bed. I was so tired... I walk into the bedroom... All her stuff is still here... Her sent was still in the room... I dont know how to go on without her... I get changed and crawl into bed pulling her pillow close... I cry and close my eyes and i could feel myself drift off... but it is different it is not like i am drifting off to sleep... I see Vera and she is smiling at me holding out her hand calling for me.... "Gorgeous?" I whisper and she smiles at me... That gorgeous smile... God i missed that smile... I take her hand and she pulls me close... I kiss her and it feels real... "Are you ready?" She asks and i nod and she leads me away... We are together again... I never have to be without her again... I am with her forever... The love of my life... My gorgeous...