I'm in love.
The realization smacked him like a ton of bricks in the middle of his fifth year at Hogwarts. Now in his seventh year the realization serves to remind him that he is letting the love of his life slip away. He needed a drink and he knew exactly where to get it from. He scrambled out of his bed and quickly headed down the steps where the Gryffindor party was in full swing. He wasn't feeling it, he just wanted firewhiskey. He found James kissing Lily on the couch and his heart clutched. He's never been kissed, he's never even had sex before despite the rumors that go around about him. Peter was no where to be found as usual and the love of his life was sat on the window sill his knee propped up to his chest, his eyes were scanning the sky. He grabbed a cup of firewhiskey from the table and moved towards him. His head turned when he was only a few paces away.
"Can I sit with you?"
The boy slid closer to the wall to allow him some space then he patted the side available holding out his hand after for the cup as he hopped on. He passed the cup back and stared as he took a sip then he spoke.
"What's wrong Sirius?"
Sirius was fidgeting with his cup, his heart in his throat at the rough sound of his voice. He wanted to kiss him so bad.
"Pads? Your heartbeat is out of control. Are you okay?"
He put out his cigarette and pulled Sirius closer into his space. He smelled like cigarettes, chocolates and the pages of an ancient book. Sirius calmed down when he inhaled it. He was pulling Sirius' hair out of his face and tying it with a hair tie he always had on his wrist despite not having long enough hair for it. Sirius frowned.
"Why do you keep a hair tie around your wrist? Your hair isn't long enough for it."
He chuckled.
"I have several, two on each wrist, some thrown in my bag and a few tucked into some of my sweaters."
"Why?"
"For you."
Sirius turned his head towards him, the moonlight highlighting some of his features the scar across his face seemed to have silver parts to it.
"For me?"
He nodded.
"When you leave your hair down you tend to get really hot after about an hour or so, but you never have a hair tie to tie up your hair so I carry them for you for when you eventually need it."
Sirius' heart pounded hard against his chest.
I love you.
Sirius took another sip of his drink, the alcohol burning his throat on the way down. Sirius desperately wanted to get rid of the space between them. Sirius licked his lips and he smirked.
"Sirius?"
"Yes?"
He almost groaned at the immediate answer.
"Come closer, I don't bite unless you want me to."
Sirius' mind thought of his lips against his neck biting him. He shivered and slid closer to him. The smirk crept onto his face when he noticed the blush rise on Sirius' face, he pushed a lock of his hair that he didn't grab when tying Sirius' hair back. Sirius turned to look at him and he wanted to dominate Sirius' world, but Sirius was untouched even being sat between his legs the way he was he's never done.
"Sirius?"
Sirius hummed and he left his hand on his face.
"You're so beautiful."
