Gold Rush // Harwin Strong

23. Almost

"Unfortunate I know." Aelsa agreed. "Dont give me that look he was going to stab himself. I do have a heart." Aelsa remarked

"I know you do." Harwin agreed. "But I dont like sharing you."

"Who said anything about sharing?" Aelsa countered. "I want you and you alone."

"Yeah?"

"You think I fuck all my guards. You dont know me very well." Aelsa mused.

"I love you. I didnt think I could fall this hard but I do. Truly and completely." Harwin told her as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Well then that settles that." Aelsa agreed.

"What did we settle?" Harwin countered.

"That you love me and I love you and we are perfect together." Aelsa offered.

"Did we settle that?" Harwin retorted as she kissed him.

"Read between the lines." Aelsa instructed. "I love you means you are never ever getting rid of me."

+

When Aemond was born Aelsa felt a connection. Deep and strong. His hair was so blonde it was almost silver. Almost. Aelsa looked to Harwin biting at her lip.

''Hes perfect,' Harwin whispered

''He is.'' Aelsa agreed grabbing his hand. He took a step back though as the king was announced and entered Aelsa chambers. Harwin hated that he couldnt have a moment with the woman he loved. Didnt get to be there and comfort her. He wanted to be there for the births of her children hold her hand make sure she knew she was loved.

But he was her sworn sword. In the eyes of the people of the king that was all he could ever be. Even if he knew their relationship was so much more.

It hurt sometimes being just the help and not Aelsas husband.

"Growing big already." Viserys remarked sitting beside Aelsa.

"He was larger, strong compared to Aegon and Helaena." Aelsa agreed. Harwin clamped down on his lips to keep from smiling.

"Certainly is, a warrior he shall be!" Viserys declared.

''Oh I dont want my babies to fight.'' Aelsa corrected. ''I want them to live a long life. Fall in love have children if they please.'' Aelsa went on. ''I cant wait to teach you to play chess. Find me a suitable match." Aelsa remarked kissing Aemonds little face. ''My perfect perfect boy,'' she coed snuggling him closer. Aelsa yawned covering her mouth with her arm as she let out a sigh.

"You seem tired. Need your rest.'' Viserys remarked as he got up kissing her cheek. ''I will see you soon my love.''

''Thank you your grace.'' Aelsa whispered. She watched him leave before looking at Harwin. ''Bar the door and come snuggle with your family.'' Aelsa instructed so thats what he did.She offered Aemond to him as she snuggled into Harwins side kissing along his neck and jaw gently as she closed her eyes.

She could almost picture this life. This love. Harwin being hers and her being his and his alone for the rest of her life. Almost.

It was obvious to Aegon that Aelsa preferred Aemond. Which might have been why he started acting out. He wanted his mothers love too.

''Prince Aegon your grace.'' Criston declared and Aelsa rose from the chess board as Aemond gnawed at the pieces.

''Hello Aegon.'' Aelsa coed.

''Do you love me?" Aegon questioned impatiently. Aelsa blinked back at him. ''You dont do you?''

''Of course I do. Of course I love you.'' Aelsa corrected.

''You never play with me. Just Aemond. Why is he so special?'' Aegon countered.

''I love all my children.'' Aelsa corrected. ''All my babies. Aemond is just little. I doted on you like this''. Aelsa offered. Aegon stared back at her but she hugged him and his worries faded.

''You are not going to leave me are you?''

Aelsa didn't realize what a shit mother she had been. She held him closer.

''I will do better.'' Aelsa assured him. ''Im sorry I havent shown it. I will do better by you.''

Even though she was hopeful that Aemond might be viserys Aegon and Helaena were still hers. She should have tried harder. She felt Aegon relax into her.

''I love you Aegon. I do. I love you so much.'' Aelsa assured. ''I'm so sorry. I will do better. Be a better mum for you.'' She promised