only if; [seungin]

VI

it was 12, seungmin quietly sneaked out, trying not to wake anyone up.

he set down his skateboard and put one foot on, he wobbled a bit, but with his other foot he pushed forward. 

he sighed, the air cooling his burning face. it's nice to be out again, he thought.

seungmin was just planning to practice his kick flip once or twice before laughing on a call with jisung and hyunjin.

this time, he was in luck.

chan, minho, hyunjin and jisung. lucky him, he wouldn't have a boring night.

"seungmin!!" minho called, sitting on his skateboard, holding on the bottom of it with his right hand and eagerly waving with his left.

seungmin raised a hand, his smile couldn't be pried off his stupid face.

"what are you doing up so late? were you expecting jeongin?" hyunjin laughed with jisung snickering on his left.

"of course not, i-" seungmin thought, "i'm assuming he's doing his missing homework." 

"uh-huh, really?" chan propped up his skateboard.

"yea- well..." seungmin laughed to himself, "maybe."

"what's up? we all...heard what happened," minho ominously asks.

"right...right you guys all heard him kiss me, yeah old news..." seungmin shrugged.

"what?" chan looked around at everyone who knew.

"oh...right sorry, i forgot to tell you." hyunjin creased his lips, looking away.

"it's fine just...what?" chan's eyes widen.

"nothing- but, i just wanted to come outside to sit out for a bit, it's really hot in my room so..." seungmin sits down next to minho.

"whatever, whatever, why don't we just have some fun?" jisung groaned, earning a push by hyunjin as he looses balance on his skateboard stumbling off.

"yah!" jisung yelled, and hyunjin slid into the skate bowl and they started chasing each other around, screaming.

seungmin muffled out a laugh as he started to choke...on his spit, with minho slamming his back, laughing at seungmin.

"my gosh..." minho chuckled, rubbing seungmin's back, laughing at his red face.

hyunjin lays on the edge of the bowl, out of breath, heaving.

"i've got you!!" jisung dragged him back down by his feet.

---

seungmin laid on the cement floor while minho keeps on talking about how much he hates working at chan's dad's restaurant. seungmin blinked slowly, he turned onto his side to look at minho.

"hey...i think i'm gonna go home." seungmin says.

"okay, do you want any of us to walk you home?" minho asks, chan's head peeps up over the edge of the skate bowl.

"no, its fine..." seungmin stands up, grabbing his skateboard.

"oh...okay, bye seungmin, sleep well." chan pushes himself up and out and walks up till minho.

"thanks, bye." seungmin heaved.

-

god.

seungmin fell into his pillows, still smelling vaguely like smoke, and the bitterness from the outside. 

why did his stomach hurt? as well as his heart. 

why? 

guilt rushed throughout seungmin's head.

he rubbed his face into his pillow, he sat up. 

pull yourself together seungmin, pull...yourself together, he muttered to himself.

 it wouldn't hurt if...he were to call jeongin.

he pulled out his basically dead phone out of his pocket and called jeongin.

"hello?" jeongin's voice sounded like he just woke up.

shit, did seungmin wake him up?

"hi...sorry did i wake you up?" seungmin sat up, leaning on his bedframe with his legs crisscrossed.

"no, no your fine i'm just...tired." jeongin replies, sighing loudly away from the phone.

"oh...okay, sorry i just wanted to hear your voice, and it's like 1 in the morning, you should sleep." seungmin sounds like he cares, does he really? that's something he thought.

"same goes with you, why aren't you asleep?" jeongin asks, he crawled into his bed, loud noises of the sheet moving around.

"well...y'know i was just out for a walk, i tend to not sleep well." seungmin swallows.

"you're talking really hesitantly, are you okay?" jeongin placed the puzzle pieces together already.

"i'm fine! just...so tired." seungmin whispers.

"yeah...relatable, well i have work tomorrow, hopefully you'll be working, we'll see each other." 

"totally, well...good night?" seungmin speaks up, waiting eagerly for jeongin's reply.

"good night, uh...i love you, no homo." jeongin adds the 'no homo' making seungmin laugh softly back into the phone.

"good night, i love you too, no homo." 

beep.

seungmin sighed, dragging his bangs into his face frustrated. he kicked his sheets off his legs, and finally let go of his hair.

"i'm so fucking screwed..." seungmin shut his eyes.

 -

seungmin walked into the seven eleven, it was 8am, jeongin mindlessly scrolling on his phone behind the counter.

"jeongin, can i get this?" seungmin asks, setting down a bag of chips and a drink.

"for sure, i- oh, right...sorry i'm a bit slow, hi seungmin, sure you can." jeongin takes the items and scans them and seungmin inserts a credit card into the register.

"so, last night was crazy-" seungmin was about to start a conversation.

"don't make me jealous, seungmin." jeongin picked up his phone again, looking at it.

"sorry- nevermind, yeah, my bad." seungmin creased his lips, "did you watch hyunjin's stream? oh my gosh it was hilarious..." seungmin waited for jeongin to take the bait.

"yeah! i was in it by the way." jeongin mentions, still not looking up from his phone.

"mhm, that's why i brought it up you idiot." seungmin chuckled, running a hand through his hair.

jeongin's face finally soften, he looked up at seungmin this time.

finally, seungmin gritted his teeth.

[A/N: hi...IM SORRYY this took also rlly long im so busy with school the tri is ending and i want my b- in science to be an a...so like UGHHH anyways....we're getting to climax soon so....put ur seatbelts on ALSO. im going on a cruise!!! so,,,,, i wont upload or interact w/ anyone, i will be writing chapters tho! soo...wait for a spam of chapters dw!! ill be back quicker than you think lmao, ok!! bye!(also proofreaded)]