Chapter 12: Welcome to the Jungle

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At least I found a summer job. There was that.

I didn't want to tutor English lit in the summer, but Dad arranged it with the high school principal. In exchange, Mr. Burns was going to pull some strings and get me into the local university for September. 

"You need to figure out your life. But first, you need somewhere to go every day," he said. Couldn't I just take the summer off to recover from my broken heart in peace? The answer was a huge NO.

I didn't like the whole plan. "I don't want to go to Hudson University in September. They call it the High School on the Highway," I pouted. 

"Oh, you're too good for the local college? Well, right now you're enrolled in the University of Nowhere. Get your undergrad locally and then you can go to any school you want for grad work. At least you'll be closer to home. It'll be cheaper and we won't have to say goodbye to our baby just yet." He smiled but I didn't smile back. "Plus, it's five dollars an hour! You can't do better than that." Dad closed the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 

Great. Cheap Degrees R Us. That's going to look great on a resume. But he was right. I had nowhere else to go. And five dollars an hour was nothing to sneeze at.

So I hauled my carcass out of bed, showered, blow dried my hair, curled every strand, put on my makeup and chose an outfit I thought was cute but conveyed some kind of authority. A white jean skirt and pink blouse with a ruffle at the neck, which was the new style. 

I sighed, looking in the mirror. It was only a couple of hours a few days a week, I told myself. At least I'd still have my summer afternoons free. Although the way I felt, the only thing I wanted to do was crawl back into bed with a tub of ice cream like the stereotypical dumped girl on movies and TV. I was a stereotype.

Except, I wasn't. Pushing back on the negative thoughts, I tried to think of another identity for myself rather than Dumped Girl.

I was a tutor. I was employed for the summer. And I was going to college in the fall. I brightened a bit. I didn't have Brandon and the ache still burned a corrosive hole through my chest. But I wasn't a total loser. 

Besides, maybe I'd enjoy it. English came easy to me and I liked explaining things. And five dollars an hour was rad! Every cent I had was in my college savings. The money from the tutoring would keep me in junk food and movies for the summer.

With a new spring in my step, I walked out into the bright sunshine. I lived 15 minutes from the school, so it was a pleasant walk. I breathed in the fresh summer air, scented with rose bushes from the neighbourhood. I would figure out a way to get Brandon back, I knew it. We were meant to be together; it was just like a puzzle I hadn't put together yet. But I would.

I just couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong. I went over and over in my mind every interaction we had over the past few months and I came up with nothing. Sure, he seemed a bit distracted and distant but that was to be expected. He was in his first year of veterinary college, he had a lot on his mind. And that special night together was hella disappointing. Brandon wasn't even asleep when I came out of the bathroom, I was pretty sure. He just didn't want to sleep with me. 

What was wrong with me?

I shook off the dark thought and tried to focus on the positive. One thing I was good at was figuring things out. It would come to me, I thought with a new resolve. Maybe Dad was right. I needed somewhere to go every day, even just to keep my brain from turning to mush. 

I arrived at the school and was greeted by Mr. Burns who unlocked the front door and gave me a set of keys. "Guard these with your life," he said sternly and I nodded.

"Now this is a bit of a wild bunch Cassie, but you're good with the other students. You can handle them. If any of them get out of hand, just go down to the office and phone me. I live around the corner and will be here in a moment."

"Okay," I muttered, walking into the classroom. Should I write "Miss Davis" in big letters on the chalk board like the teachers do? No, that would be lame.

"How wild?" I asked Mr. Burns as I put my purse away in the desk.

"You know — Moose and those guys."

"Oh," I relaxed. "Yeah, they're fine." I could handle the gentle giant and his dipstick friends.

"You'll do great," he said, patting my shoulder awkwardly. "These guys were all only a few points away from passing. They're bright boys, but they are wasting their time and brain cells on weed and heavy metal," he spat out the last two words like they were poison. 

"Uh huh." Gag me with a spoon, this guy was old.

"But they all have potential. Every student does. So if they can pass their English exam by the end of the summer, they'll all graduate. I want that for them, Cassie."

"Me too," I said, thinking about how frustrating it would be to only be a few points shy of graduation.

"Fine," he said, hesitating before he left. "And if anyone gets too out of hand, just lock yourself in the principal's office and call the police," he said. "Well, that's everything! Have fun with it." With that he was gone.

Good lord, what did I get myself into?  

I set up my books on the desk, took Jackie Collins' latest novel from my purse and read for twenty minutes. Whoah, her book was spicy. I had no idea. My eyes widened as I read about the sleazy goings on of famous Hollywood actors and actresses. Nothing Brandon and I ever did in the back seat of his father's Nissan was ever like that. 

Sex was still pretty much a huge mystery. All through my teenage years, even with the little boyfriends I had before Brandon, it seemed to be all guys talked about; all they wanted. Then I served it up on a platter for Brandon in the perfect scenario - a grownup hotel room, not the squished back seat of a car, and he rejected me. It still hurt. 

Ten o'clock came and I sighed and put my book away. Nobody showed up.

At 10:15, I wondered if I had the wrong day.

By 10:30, I was packing up to go when I heard them.

There was only supposed to be five of them, but they thundered down the hall like they were 100. One by one they filed into the classroom, hooting and hollering when they saw me. Moose, his buddy Rich the drug dealer, John Allen, they guy who robbed the liquor store and spent some time cleaning up the roads in an orange jumpsuit, and to my horror, Bobby Mullins. He gave me a wolfish smile as he took his seat in the back. I had a flash of his sweaty hand in mine heading towards the woods with him and suppressed a shudder.

Great.

"Hey, this'll be easy. Cass and me go way back, don't we? Why don't you just pass us all right now and we'll fuck off outta here?" Moose threw a wadded up piece of paper at me and it landed on the desk. I caught it and whipped it back at him, catching him above the right eyebrow while the guys roared with laughter.

"Fat chance, Moose." I said, writing down their names. "Alright, that's four of you. Who's missing?"

They finally shut up when Tommy Slade strolled in, taking his seat at the very back. He glared at Bobby before locking those dark eyes with mine.

I was in trouble. 



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