Chapter 39

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** Crimson's P.O.V. **

They are stared at me and thought. We all knew that it wasn't going to be easy. Not at all. We were all sitting down in the bus just thinking about what could be the perfect solution. Knowing Nicole I perfectly knew that it wouldn't be simple. After a bit Vic was the first to give an idea.

"Hey, we can maybe say the Crimson relapsed really badly and she needs Nicole." Vic said. Everybody stared at me. Relapsed? Wow, I haven't even dared to think about something about that until he brought it out.

"Yeah, it could be a good idea. However think about it, she used that same exact excuse to get Josh and I back together. She could simply think that it's all a plan." I said. They all shook their heads, even Josh.

"No, you wouldn't do that to her. She knows that, she knows how touchy you are, especially when it comes to you. You wouldn't say something like that to just get her here, if you, or one of us, said something like that it would be the truth." I stood up suddenly, and Josh slightly jumped.

"If you think so fine, I'm going to use the restroom, all this sitting here has left me with a lot to digest and now shit out. In the mean time you guys can think of a way to grab her attention." I muttered sourly before turning and entering the bathroom, closing the door behind me. My hand trembled as I locked it.

Everything started to get into my head in that moment. Every single stupid mistake and everything that went wrong. Like how I cheated on Josh, how Nicole just left us all, how I overreacted on stage, how I haven't paid that much attention to my friend, how I got mad at her when Oli told me about her new scars. I felt stupid, I'm only good at fucking things up, nothing else. I opened the cabinet under sink and found what I needed. I can't believe it, we were just talking about this a few seconds ago as a plan. Now here I am having the blade in my hand. I knew I didn't have much time before they would start getting suspicious. I dragged the blade a few times and rinsed the blood away. I got a towel and made the flowing stop.

Once I was done I went back out of the bathroom however towards the bunks. I looked through my bag and found some extra bracelets. I got them and put them on to cover my new scarred wrist. I went back to the living room and sat down next to Josh. I noticed that he was staring at me however I pretended not to notice. I didn't need to stress out or some super long monologue about my behaviour. I instead decided to go back to business.

"So? Anybody got any ideas to get our friend and maybe still somebody's girlfriend?" I asked.

"We thought about having a video where we are all, or well almost all, present. You will be the only one missing from it." Nicholls said. It sounded original and interesting.

"I like the idea, what will you guys be saying in the video?" I asked.

"Well, first it's going to be Pierce The Veil and they will have some personal message for Nicole at the end adding something about you, then it will be Bring Me The Horizon, without Oli also personal message. However there will be Jordan saying stuff about you not being ok, then it will be Josh alone and he also will have his personal message and will start saying on how terrible you are and you did something really bad, then it will be Oli and his personal message. Later when we upload it we can ask all our fans to tag Nicole to get her attention and so she will have to see it" I nodded in agreement. 

"I like the idea, it sounds great. This plan can actually work." I said in excitement.

"C'mon let's go get this video done." Oli yelled. We all got up and ran out of the bus as Jaime grabbed a camera. I faltered just the slightest and Josh noticed, but didn't miss a beat. He grabbed my arm (the one i added more bracelets onto) and dragged me after him. I bit back the tears as I felt a stinging sensation.

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