Castles on the Sand

Twenty-Six

My heel bumps against the door and I can't back up any further. I shut my eyes, not sure if he's going to try to kiss me or what, but it's the pad of his thumb that touches my lips, not his mouth. I can feel him close, though, close enough that his breath dances across my skin. His fingers splay out across my cheek and he sweeps his thumb along my cheekbone.

My next breath comes out shaky as he settles his hand against the side of my neck and strokes the line of my jaw. I open my eyes and see that he hasn't leaned down. He's still staring at me with that unreadable look.

“This one of your games?” I ask.

“No.”

“What do you want?” Those words come out defiant, angry. Why am I angry with Alex?

Rather than pull back, he steps closer and touches his lips to my forehead. He takes his time, and when I don't flinch away, he moves to kiss my temple, his thumb tracing a line down the side of my throat. He steps closer still, until our bodies touch and he presses me gently against the door as he kisses my closed eyelid, my cheek, the tip of my nose.

I lift my hands with the half formed intention of pushing him away. He's messing with me. He's figured out how I feel about him and is just going to use me. But my hands grasp his waist instead. I want, so badly, for this to be real.

He slides his arm behind the small of my back, pressing me even closer to him, as he tilts my head to one side and touches his lips to my neck. The sensation sends a tremor through me and my fingers tighten. His kisses move down to the hollow just above my clavicle, and I find my arms are around him now. I'm holding him, encouraging him. One hand I slide up his back to grasp his shoulder.

But still he takes his time, his mouth soft as a caress against my skin, then he pauses, breathing like he's just run up a flight of stairs. I can feel my pulse pounding in my ears and fingertips. I lift my head and he moves his hand from my neck down to my hip. Our noses touch and I nuzzle him, taking my time now, gauging how he feels by his ragged breathing. My hand goes from his shoulder to the back of his neck, where I run the tips of my nails across his skin.

He sucks in his breath and I lean up to kiss him. The first time our lips touch, I break it off, but the second time, I relax and savor the sensation of his mouth on mine. His kisses are light, and I can't get enough of them. We kiss and kiss until I feel him gasp and realize I've barely let him breathe. “Sorry,” I whisper.

“It's all right.” He chuckles and leans his forehead against mine.

I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want to come back to reality, where my best friend is in the hospital and my mother's on the verge of losing her mind and the most powerful people in town want me gone. I just want to be in this moment and never let it pass.

“You okay?” he whispers.

Tears streak down my face and I shake my head. “No.”

“You want me to stop?”

“No.” I tighten my hold on him.

He kisses my tears away, his arms around me, strong and secure. “Be with me?” The way he says it sounds like a confession of a long held secret.

I open my eyes. “You mean, like...”

“In a relationship. I want to be together.”

“Oh.” I sniffle. “You really think I'd kiss you and then say no thanks? You're the one who hasn't even acted interested.”

He leans down to look me in the eye. “Gimme a break. I've got a criminal record. I assaulted you in front of the school-”

“You apologized-”