Castles on the Sand

Fifteen

“I'm sorry to call so late,” I say.

“I love you,” is John’s reply.

“Thanks.”

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” I lie.

“If you say so.”

“Yeah, I'm sorry to bother you. I should just get to bed.”

“Whoa, hang on. What did I say wrong?”

“Why do you always have to be such a know-it-all?”

“I am? Feels like I know nothing. Especially about you.”

“But when I say nothing's wrong-”

“You called me at midnight on Wednesday sounding like your puppy died. I may not be super-intuitive, but I can tell something's wrong, but you know what? You don't have to tell me anything. It's your life. I respect that.”

“I went out with Carson tonight.”

“That mean things are over with Jean-Pierre?”

“I don't know. That's kind of complicated.”

“I'm sorry. Carson's a nice guy, though. He's got a real thing for you. The way he talks about you-”

“When do you talk to Carson?”

“We talked when he drove me to the bus stop.”

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah. He asked if I thought you'd ever be interested, but I told him, it's your call and even if you do like him, he'll never be good enough to date you. No one will.”

“This is Carson.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“His dad's a bishop.”

“Which is good for his dad, but who cares?”

“He's, like, straight-laced Mormon Boy.”

“I know who he is, okay? I've spent time at his house and eaten at his family's Grille.”

“He came over to see me the night after he dropped you off at the bus station.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Did you tell him to do that?”

“No, I’m not like that. You are the most amazing person I've ever known. It’s not like you need any help attracting guys.”

My tear ducts burn and my vision blurs. “Why do you say stuff like that? You barely know me.”

“I've got Black Bear here. I know you don't remember him, but he was your favorite toy, and you gave him to me. Wouldn't take him back, even when you were leaving and I'm sure you guessed you might not ever see him again. All the time that I knew you, you were the sweetest, most forgiving person I've ever known. Someone pushed you down, you'd offer them a hug.”

“Carson says I always do the nice thing.”

“You do.”

“So he says I'm destined to end up in a trailer park with some guy just because I can't say no to people.”

“Fifteen angry emails telling me to shut up says that you have no problem saying no to people. He's wrong.”

“Maybe.”

“You don't think so?”

“JP doesn't want a girlfriend, but whenever he's wanted to hook up, I've gone along with it. It's like I can't say no.”