I can't do this alone anymore

What did u do to me

Chapter 3

Warnings include
- ptsd
- mentions of non con
- mentions of Proust (just his name nothing else)
-

I woke up on the bathroom floor with andrews arms wrapped around me.
His embrace was secure yet gentle.
Like he'd never let me go again.
As I sat up his eyes were already open.
"What time is it"? I asked.
"How am I supposed to know we've been in the fucking bathroom all night."he shot back.
He took a deep breath and exhaled.
"Neil. I know you aren't going to want to explain to me what happened because your a fucking liar and a runaway. But if you don't tell me what happened right now." He paused.
"I can never forgive you". He shot
I took a breath for comfort and knew if I was gonna tell anyone it'd be Andrew.

********
"okay I'll start from the beginning". Deep breath
"When you left for east haven. We had a banquet and the ravens were there."
" Riko approached me and he told me if I diddnt come with him to the ravens, then Dr. Proust would-" He placed his hand over my mouth.
"Neil"! His eyebrows furrowed.
"Don't you dare make the mistake of thinking I need your protection". He exclaimed.
"I had to try, you said you would protect Kevin and I, but whose protecting you...don't say you cause we both know your shit at taking care of yourself." I yelled back.
"Neil...What happened at the nest; I know for a fact you can take fucking punches from anyone."

"I was fine for the first few weeks. It was just exhausting and Riko would just cut and beat me at night." His fist clenched.
"But...." I had to pause to catch my breath.
"On the last nights of the finals week. He...." I paused for a long time trying to grip onto something that would keep me from vomiting on spot reaching for Andrews wrist, but quickly retracted and squeezed my own.

Andrew diddnt interrupt anymore.
"He came into the room, he cuffed me to the bed like usual but his eyes were different this time. They were ugly and hate filled.
I spit in his face and he shoved his fingers down my throat. I...tried to stop him I pulled and thrashed but....". Tears were flowing now.
"He...took off his belt an-". Andrew threw his hands over my mouth again.
"Enough". He had a tear rolling down his cheek.
Andrew was crying. Oh no.
This is my fault. Why is he crying, is he mad?
It's my fault.
"Neil if that bastard ever comes near you again I will make sure he never takes another breath again." He spat.
"He's gonna have to finals is a few weeks away and we have the mid season banquet". I said.
"I hate you". He spat.
"Andrew. It wasn't just Riko". I felt so weak.
He froze.
"A couple oth-" he shot up from the ground.
"You have to go to the hospital". He announced.
"No I can't! You know that if I do". I stammered.
"Neil I know...but you could have some serious problems". I need to know your going to be okay.
I paused weighing out my options.
"I just can't". I sighed.
"We've got to go to Abby then".
"Andrew I don't want anyone to see". I stared at him with eyes filled with shame and guilt.
His eyes conveyed understanding and compassion.
He stood up swiftly.
Leaving the bathroom. When he diddnt come back for a while I mustered up my strength to stand up. Resulting in my aching bones screaming.
I stumbled out seeing Andrew with a small first aid kit sitting in the bed.
"Is this okay". He asked bluntly.
I tugged at my shirt feeling embarrassed. But if it was Andrew I guess it was okay.
I sat next to him on the bed.
"We're gonna start slow okay". He spoke softly.
I nodded in response.
I turned towards the window staring out into the campus parking lot.
He leaned in to my personal space. Observing the bruises scattered across my face. Disinfecting them with a wipe. Then went for the scar under my right eye and forehead. Wiping them and then placing bandages over them.
He trailed his hands down to my neck.
I flinched roughly.
Picturing Rikos rough hands wrapped around my neck squeezing until I begged for air.
He paused.
"Neil look at me".
I slowly moved my head to meet his gaze.
"I'm nkt going to do anything you don't want. We can stop whenever, but you need medical attention and I'm the best your going to get. I'm not like them".
The words he was saying were true and kind. But it felt like a knife being placed in my ribs.
I felt ashamed for making him think I thought of him that way.
"Don't take your eyes off of my face and tell me when your uncomfortable".
I nodded.
I felt the prick of a cold cotton swab slather my neck. Followed by a compress gently placed around my neck.
"Can you take off your shirt". He asked gently.
I diddnt leave his gaze. His soft yet cruel eyes that held a past of their own.
Andrew understood. And that made this comfortable.
I took off my shirt reveling the scars and stains The ravens left.
Andrew stayed silent. No gasp. No disgust. He just observed and went to work.
That's what made him different.
Everyone else was the same. Giving me their pointless pity and sympathy.

Andrew understood.