Villiones Series 2: Lost In Love (HANDSOMELY COMPLETED)

Kabanata 15

Kabanata 15

Last letter

Walang tigil ang luha habang hindi matapos-tapos mabasa ang natitirang dalawang sulat ni Therome. I understand now. I understand why he had to break me because he has reason. I don't know but my heart is crying because of this last two letter. I wiped my tears, it was 10 PM and I'm still in my office.

I read the letter.

Dear, Marguz

Honestly, I really miss you. I miss our moments. I miss your laugh, your smile, your kisses, and your hugs. I miss seeing you in our penthouse. I miss the way you care for me, miss the way you brush my hair gently and dry my wet everytime I finished taking my bath. I don't know what should I do not to feel this, it's my decision to stop what we have because I know it will be more painful if I let you stay with me while I'm having my condition. The day we talk and you ask if did I love you, I lied.

I love you. You turn everything around with me. You turn my life again after what happened before you came. I misses you. How I wish, I can turn back the time and hope that I didn't have this kind of condition because yes... I don't want to lose you. Pero ayaw kong dalhin mo ako hanggang sa mawala ako dito sa mundo.

I try my luck. I try to come back because I couldn't let another year without you, but it seemed would not happen because you hated me so much. I used 143 when you are sleeping and I'm right next to you, because it means that I love you.

I love you, at lalo kitang minahal nung ibinigay mo sa akin si Willan. I love the both of you. Please, take care of our son.

I wipe my tears. Hindi ko mapigilan na umiyak habang paulit-ulit itong binasa. May isang sulat pa at hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko bang basahin. Ang tissue ay nagkalat sa sahig dahil sa pag-iyak ko. I try to stop my tears but I couldn't do that because of this letter.

Anong condition ba kasi ang sinasabi? Bakit hindi niya sabihin sa akin? Ano ba 'yon at bakit kailangan niyang gawin sa akin 'yon? He break my heart because he has condition that I didn't know! And here I am, thinking crazily because I don't know!

Tapos sinabi niya noon na hindi niya ako minahal pero dito sa sulat niya, iba ang sinasabi. He loves me, and he missed me. But why? Why does he need to break my heart? Why does he need to choose hurting me than saying what is going on with him! I'm so confused and I don't get it.

I'm so devastated that time and I almost kill my life because I thought, he didn't love me and he just used me. I almost lost our son because I hated him and I was betrayed! But shit, he loves me! He fucking love me! Oh God, gulong-gulo na ako! Gusto ko talaga siyang kausapin at itanong ang lahat ng ito. Gusto kong malaman galing mismo sa kanya ang lahat at marinig mula sa kanyang bibig na lahat ng iyon ay totoo.

Hindi ko kayang isipan na nasayang ang ilang taon namin dahil sa condition niyang hindi ko naman alam. He choose to keep it because he said that he doesn't want me to pity him or take care of him. Bakit? Asawa niya ako at may karapatan akong alagaan siya! Bakit niya mas piniling itago iyon at hayaan akong masaktan!

I couldn't take this anymore! I cried and I'm so confused. I want to know everything. Kulang ang sulat lang. Kulang ang mga paliwanag niya sa sulat. Gusto kong malaman ang lahat. Gusto ko siyang kausapin ng harap-harapan. Gusto kong itanong ang mga katanungan na bumabagabag sa isipan ko.

I wasn't informed about this. And I should know! Hindi ko tinapos ang nahuling sulat dahil nanghihina ako at gusto kong magpahinga. I need energy to think about it all. And I should stop reading his letters. Sa gabing 'yon, umuwi ako sa bahay na namumugto ang mata. Pagod akong humiga sa kama at muling inisip ang nasa sulat niya.

He said he has a condition, but he didn't mention what kind of condition it is. I shook my head confusedly. Niyakap ko ang unan at pinikit ang mga mata. I try to stop thinking about the letter but fuck, everytime I close my eyes, I imagine his face, his eyes, his lips. The last time he visit me, he really look so pale and weak. Para bang may karamdaman siya na hindi sinasabi at tinatago niya 'yon sa pamamagitan ng ngiti.

Nang magising kinabukasan, dumiretso ako sa office. 8AM to 9PM ang shop namin, kaya nung dumating ako sa shop, near to 10AM na. I sashayed to my office and read some report from my manager. After minutes of scanning the report, I ordered my meal for the lunch.

Bumalik ako sa trabaho pasado 1PM at nagbasa ulit ng mga report. Nang mag-alas tres, naisipan kong basahin ang huling sulat na nasa box. Since, wala na akong ginagawa kaya babasahin ko 'yon. Kinuha ko mula sa kahon at binuksan. I sighed heavily.

Dear, Marguz

This is maybe my last letter since I'm not feeling well. I compete with Luke, funny that I know, he will never have you. But I got scared, my hundred percent of hope getting you is shaking because of him. I'm so tired, I didn't able to help my father with the business because I couldn't take it anymore. Last night, we talk and I said that I will resign because I want to rest. He let me and I know, he will give my share to our son. Willan will be the next CEO of our company.

Truthfully, years ago, I was diagnosed with Grade 2 Brain Cancer. My doctor said that I only have years to live but because I am young and the tumor is not spreading fastly, I got the chance to undergo surgery. But he said that in my age, there are 22 percentage of survival. I'm scared, when I found out that I have this condition, I'm really scared.

Inisip agad kita, ang magiging anak natin. Sa gabi, tinitiis kong hindi ipakita sayo na masakit ang ulo ko pero hindi ko kaya, I had to escape and hide from you. Whenever I feel so sick and my head is aching, I drink medicine but it didn't work. I try my best to hide it, I tried to be okay but I guess, I'm not really good at it.

That's why, I came to decision of leaving you and just hide because I can't take the pain anymore at ayokong maging pabigat sayo. Buntis ka sa anak natin tapos may ganito akong sakit, ayokong mag-alala ka ng husto. Ayokong mas unahin mo ako kaysa magiging anak natin. Kaya ginawa ko ang desisyong iyon.

Buong akala ko, magiging okay ang lahat pagkatapos kitang iwan pero mali ako, Marguz. Kasi nung hindi na tayo, I feel so lonely, I feel like I'm dying and I'm so scared... I'm so scared to death because I want to be with you... I want to see my son... I want to spent my life with our family. I regret choosing hurting you than staying but I guess, it was right also because look at you now, a very successful woman.

If we stay, baka lumubog lang tayong dalawa dahil sa karamdaman ko. I don't want that to happen, baby. I don't want to bring you down with me. I want you to live your life without me. I want you to reach your ultimate dream... without me... because if I stay with you while having this sick, we will both sank.

Don't ever blame yourself thinking that you are not a good wife because truthfully, you are the best woman I ever found. You are the woman that every man will be dream of. You know how to handle me, you know how to take care of me, you know how to understand me, and that's why, you made me fell... deeply in love with. I will have my surgery after two months and I hope it will be successful. Regards me with our son, I love you both.

My tears didn't stop. My heart is aching in pain and I couldn't breath normally. Basang-basa na ang papel na kanyang sinulatan pero patuloy pa rin ako sa pag-iyak. Oh my God, this is the condition he's talking about! Grade 2 Brain Cancer? 22 percent of survival? Surgery and death!

Kaya pala isang araw, naging malamig siya. Kaya pala isang araw, lumayo siya. At kaya pala isang buwang hindi umuuwi kasi ito pala ang nangyayari sa kanya. At kaya pala kapag nakikita ko siyang hinahawakan ang ulo noon, masakit pala dahil sa karamdaman niya. Bakit hindi ko 'to napansin noon? Bakit hindi niya piniling sabihin sa akin? Bakit kailangan niya pang piliing umalis at takbuhan kami?

He said, he's scared of death. And he said, he wants to see our son. Oh my, Therome! You should've tell me about this! My heart is panting and I can't breath because of this letter. His last letter... because he will undergo a surgery. That's why, he didn't show up to me anymore.

---
© Alexxtott