Five Steps | Chaelisa

Chapter 12

Roseanne's POV

The following week I'm waiting in line for a snack and a hot tea at the coffee stand on the main floor of the Carnegie Library when a lanky figure with a black hood pulled up over their head cuts right in front of me.

I stare, burning holes in the fabric of their sweatshirt as they reach into the display cooler to snatch an orange juice and a cinnamon bagel wrapped in plastic.

Hey, pal, there's a line.

I open my mouth to say it but decide to just let it go. There's no point getting into a fight over it, especially in the middle of the library.

"You're just gonna let me cut like that?" the hooded figure asks in a voice I somehow know all too well.

"Oh my God. Don't you have anyone else to bother?" I ask as Lisa turns around to face me.

"You know, you can quit pretending that you don't like me." She pulls her hood down, giving me that grin like she thinks she's so clever for making an entrance like this.

"Noted," I reply dryly, selecting a shrink-wrapped sugar cookie from the wicker basket on top of the cooler. "What are you doing here? Other than getting on my nerves."

"Ouch." She cringes, placing a hand over her heart before showing me the book that's tucked under her arm.

"What's it about?" I ask, turning my head sideways to inspect the one- thousand-plus-page fantasy novel.

"Don't know yet." Lisa shrugs as she places her OJ and bagel down on the counter in front of the cashier. "I just grabbed one off the shelf on the top floor."

"You just grabbed a random book off a random shelf, and you're going to read it without any idea what it's about?" I ask, incredulous.

She shrugs again. "Isn't the point to read it and find out for yourself?" She hands over a few bucks and steps aside, making room for me to check out.

"Could I have a medium Darjeeling tea, please?" I ask the cashier, then turn my attention back to Lisa, who is unwrapping the bagel with her front teeth like an animal. I look down at the book again, with its faded cover, knights and mythical creatures all twisted together under a green sky. It seems like something my sister would be into, but definitely not me. "Looks... interesting."

"Didn't your mom ever teach you not to judge a book by its cover?" she asks. "Speaking of, have you gotten Suzy's number yet?"

"Why 'speaking of'?" I ask, looking quickly around as I take my tea from the barista. I drag Lisa into a quiet corner. "What do your weird reading habits have to do with Suzy? And can you please stop shouting her name in public!"

"Well, you like her because she's got a nice cover," she says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. She must notice my blank stare because she finally follows up with "She's hot, right?"

"No. I mean yes, but that's not... I like her, everything about her."

"Well, you don't really know that. I mean, you've barely said two words to her."

"Yes, I have." I can feel myself getting upset. "I've been in school with her for four years."

"Yeah, but did you ever even talk to her during those four years?" she presses.

I decide to ignore that. "I still heard plenty about her. Besides, I sat by her all night at the party. We both want to be writers. We have tons in common." I catch myself smiling at the fantasy future I've spent a lot of time thinking about. We both become writers and spend nights in, watching reruns of Wynonna Earp. Then we move back to the suburb where we grew up to be close to our families and...

"Well, I mean, you know her about as well as I know... Olivia Wilde. I know what I see on Instagram, what she puts out to the world. I know that we both like indie music, but I don't know her. Just like you really don't know Suzy. At least not yet."

I take a deep breath, reminding myself who it is I'm talking to. This is Lisa Manoban, the person who flirts with random girls who aren't her girlfriend. Of course she thinks looks are what matters. "Look, you just wouldn't understand. Okay?" I swing my backpack around and slip my cookie into the front pocket for later.

"And why wouldn't I understand?" she asks. I laugh, brushing her question off as rhetorical because it seems so obvious. "No, why wouldn't I understand?" she repeats.

"Well, you clearly don't feel as strongly toward your girlfriend, or else you wouldn't be flirting around with Suzy at a party." I shrug. "If you felt the way I do, you wouldn't have even wanted to, because you'd already have everything you could ever want."

She watches me silently for a few seconds, the look on her face shifting from anger to hurt to indifference.

"Okay, maybe you're right," she says finally, her face hollowing as she bites the inside of her cheek. I can tell it's not really what she wants to say, but she moves on anyway. "So, did you get her number yet?"

"No." The truth is... I have been trying all week. Every time I see her, I come up with some game plan to talk to her, to work up the confidence to maybe ask her for her number. But getting out of my head is much harder when I'm dealing with Suzy Bae and not just some dude from my high school. I haven't gotten any farther than a smile and a wave. Unless you count this past Wednesday when I saw her outside of Market. I was about to tap her on the shoulder to say hi when I tripped over absolutely nothing and fell flat on my face at her feet. Not exactly the best time to ask for her number. "I still haven't found the right moment," I tell Lisa, but I know I sound defensive.

"You know every day that you don't get her number is a day she could be giving it to someone else," she says, and takes a sip of her orange juice while my heart plummets into my stomach. She's right. I need to get this done. And soon.

"Can't you help me?" I beg, looking up at her, but her face isn't showing any sign of sympathy.

"First you insult me, then you pull this?" she asks, but her face softens. "Roseanne, I already helped you. At the coffee shop."

"I need it to be more direct. Can you help me at least make the moment happen? You're the mastermind behind all this, aren't you?" I ask. "Isn't there something in your plan?"

She huffs out a laugh. "Of course it's in my plan. The plan is airtight. Solid. Like concrete."

A text pings in from my mom, a picture of Hank wearing a yellow raincoat.

My eyes dart to the time at the top. I sigh. "Shit."

"What?" Lisa asks, ripping off another giant bite of her bagel with her teeth.

"I'm going to be late for class. Someone dropped Intro to Fiction, so I got into the open slot, but it's all the way on the third floor of the Cathedral." I pocket my phone. "Tell me about this solid concrete plan later?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sure."

I try to remember which way the building is from here. As I turn toward the south exit, Lisa grabs my shoulder and turns my body in the complete opposite direction.

"Cathedral is... that way, Park."

"I know," I lie.

I walk as fast as I can through the door and across the street, trying to leave everything she said behind. All that bullshit about how I don't really know Suzy. I didn't ask for any sort of opinion from her. She's only supposed to be around for the plan, to teach me how to do these things that I've never done before. That's all I need from her. If she can just give me that, everything will work out in the end between me and Suzy.

I check the time on my phone again. I shouldn't have let Lisa distract me like that. Now I'm probably going to be late to a class that I already missed the first week of.

Awesome.