Decade | | Azriel

21

The first thing Kyla noticed about the Shadow Realm was that there was no air. She wasn't breathing, and she really didn't feel the need to.

The shadow guided her through the realm to the looming obsidian palace. Every shadow they passed bowed to her. She hadn't accepted the crown, but it seemed they were set in their decision that she would be Queen anyway. She wasn't as uncomfortable about it as she expected. Something about the power she felt here left her skin tingling.

It felt safe here, and she almost resented it because this place had caused her so much grief, so much pain. And now it felt safer than her own home.

They made it to the palace and the doors opened on their own, allowing the pair inside.

"The doors do not open to everyone," the shadow said, its voice different here than it had been in Kyla's apartment, more grounded and less airy. "I would not be allowed in without you or our King unless I were to be added to the list of those sanctioned to enter."

"Do you have a name?" Kyla asked suddenly, feeling a little guilty for not asking sooner.

"Venith," the shadow answered, sounding shocked that she had even asked, "but you needn't trouble yourself with the names of your subjects, my Queen. I don't think the last three Kings asked a single shadow their name. And our current King has hardly said a word to anyone yet beyond orders to leave the other realms alone."

"Your last three Kings sound horrid," Kyla muttered, and Venith chuckled quietly.

"Our King is in the inner throne room," Venith informed her, "he will be happy to see you."

"I'm not entirely sure," she murmured as they slowed to a stop outside of the heavy doors to the throne room.

"Would you like me to accompany you inside?" Venith offered, entirely aware of her nerves.

"Thank you, but no," she dismissed the offer, "I'll go in alone."

She stayed still for a few more moments before glancing towards the shadow again.

"Do I knock?" she asked, and she somehow got the distinct impression that the shadow was smiling.

"You are the Queen," Venith reminded her, "it would be odd if you did knock."

Kyla was going to launch into some little lecture on privacy, but she couldn't bring herself to stand here any longer anyway. As soon as her intention to go in solidified, the doors opened themselves.

Azriel's head snapped up at the sound of the doors opening of their own accord. His shock was visible even from this distance. He stood abruptly, moved to go towards her and then he stopped himself. He was stuck in place, eyes fixated on her as she stepped out not the throne room and the doors closed behind her.

"Is it really you?" Azriel asked, his voice hardly above a whisper but still carrying across the massive room. Kyla froze about halfway to the two matching thrones. "Kyla?"

"Hey, Az," she greeted shakily, forcing one foot in front of the other. When did walking become such a challenge?

"I can't believe...how are you here? Are you hurt?" he asked, finally bringing himself to move towards her. He stopped about a foot away from her, wanting to reach out to her but resisting the urge. He doubted she wanted his touch.

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, not quite sure what to say. Words tumbled out before she could think too much.

"I killed Hal," she blurted out, "Rhys took me to the Spring Court when I asked him to and I killed Hal. I slashed his eyes out and I stabbed him."

"I wish I had been there to see it," Azriel murmured, pride beaming from him. "But I'm glad Rhys has been there for you."

"He has been very kind," Kyla said, "I'm grateful to him."

Azriel was quiet for a few seconds, his eyes roaming over her.

"I can't believe this is real," he muttered, "I thought...I...are you okay?"

"I'm better than I was," she responded, not quite an answer, "killing Hal helped. I wasn't...I can't remember what happened. It's just bits and pieces and it's all blurry and I asked Rhys to make me remember but he wouldn't."

"Why would you want to remember?" Azriel asked softly, his eyes shining with concern. He never showed his emotions as freely with anyone as he did with her. "Why would you want to remember that?"

She swallowed back the fear and hesitancy rising in her. She didn't want to tell him the real answer, but she couldn't lie to him either.

"I couldn't remember who it was," she started off, her voice unsteady, "he...he got me to let him in by pretending to be you, and sometimes I remember it being you. I remember you being the one who....that's what I see in my head sometimes."

Azriel looked like he had been stabbed in the heart.

"I would never lay a hand on you like that," he muttered, sounding so wrecked at the thought alone, "I would sooner die than hurt you."

"I wanted to remember so that I could see that it wasn't you because I didn't want it to have been you," she spoke as evenly as she could, trying not to cry, "it was just...Rhys said something about how I couldn't remember it because it would hurt me, that keeping it foggy was my mind's way of protecting me from it but I needed to know it wasn't you."

"Do you know now?" he asked, his voice so quiet. She could've sworn she heard a hint of fear in his tone.

She stared at him for a moment, at that raw sincerity in his eyes, at that pleading look that couldn't be fake.

"Yes," she answered finally, "I know now."

Azriel let out a shaking breath of relief. He started to move to reach for her but stopped himself.

"I love you," he spoke so softly, like the words themselves were fragile, "every moment away from you has been torture. I love you."

"I love you," she said back after a moment, "I love you."

For the briefest of moments, the Shadow Realm's Goddess of Creation woke, and the sun shine through the blackened sky before winking back out of existence. A split second of the goddess's approval.