Decade | | Azriel

9

Kyla felt like she couldn't breathe under the weight in her chest where the mate bond had snapped into place. There was a part of her that wanted to be happy—that glimmering, hopeful young part of her that refused to ever die. But that part of her was so small, had been nearly beaten and sliced to death by Hal. The rest of her saw the bond for what it was: a leash. She was leashed to Azriel now.

She cursed herself for the way she wept the moment he was out the door. She cursed herself for the fact that she couldn't even wait until he was far enough that he couldn't hear when she began to sob over what she could only see as a loss of the freedom Rhysand had gifted her all those years ago. She really hadn't ever looked into how mate bonds were handled in the Night Court, but she assumed it was the same as what she was taught in the Spring Court. That bond meant she belonged to Azriel, that he owned her and could do whatever he wanted with that ownership.

She cursed herself once more for the fact that she vomited when the reality of that—of ownership hit her full force.

She hated herself for this, because she knew the bond had only snapped into place because she allowed it to. If she had been smarter, if she had kept herself closed to him as she had for the past decade, this wouldn't have happened. The bond would have never snapped into place and could have lived freely and she wouldn't be on the floor sobbing.

Azriel had left. He had agreed to give her space and time but how long would he wait? How long would he give her to process before he came and claimed her—before he lost his patience and forced her to accept the bond? She nearly vomited again at the thought. He could come and take her from the life she had made for herself. He would come and take her from this.

He would forbid her from ever stepping foot in this building again. She remembered Hal's possessiveness and jealousy, how severe it was and he was only her fiancé. Azriel was her mate. That was something so primal and unforgiving. She thought about Hal's jealousy, about how he'd lock her in the basement if he was having too many male guests for her to be trusted around and about how he'd leave her face bruised so she'd be unappealing to the males on his household staff and about how he once threatened to scar her face beyond recognition for the way she had smiled at and thanked one of the chefs for the meal he had made and she thought about how much worse it would have been if Hal had been her mate instead of just her fiancé. And Azriel was her mate, and he was infinitely more powerful than Hal could have ever dreamt of being.

Azriel would probably come and drag her out of here when he lost his patience. Maybe he would break her legs if she tried to run back to it. Maybe he would do worse. He could do worse, and he'd be well within his rights to do it if the laws here were the same as they were in the Spring Court.

She considered running. She could sneak out of here and to her apartment and pack a small bag and run. But she knew there was nowhere in Prythian she could run that he wouldn't find her. She knew how vast his network of spies was, he had told her all about it himself. She knew that he had people in every court who answered to him. Azriel himself answered to Rhysand, but he was a king in his own right with the empire of spies he controlled across Prythian. That wasn't even mentioning his shadows. He could send them after her. That was if he gave her the mercy of not going after her himself. He was a warrior, one of the most skilled in history. He didn't need that empire of spies or his shadows to be a force of nature himself. He could shatter her existence if he felt like it. And with the bond in place? He had every right to do as he pleased with her existence.

She vomited again.

She forced herself up and stumbled out of her room, not caring that she hadn't bothered to cover up. She and everyone here had seen plenty of each other over the years anyway. She made her way to Quyn's office, tears still rolling relentlessly down her cheeks.