Isekais Don't Exist, You're Just Trapped in a Social Experiment

4. A Wish for More Time

Your hangover from the alcohol, a dull ache you could ignore only while Tighnari was present, now has your full attention an hour after he's left. It rattles against the inside of your skull, reminding you of every bad thing you'd done the night before.

Not that Tighnari noticed since he wouldn't know what they are, but the three packets of condoms that had been shoved into the bottom of your bag was proof of it.

You don't own any condoms. As per yesterday's attempts at quelling the void of loneliness and misery, you never planned to carry any or use them. On top of that, the fact that the receipt in the bag of the day-after pills didn't contain any debit purchase of condoms at all...then you stole them. There's really no other way to slice it.

Truly, you are a beacon of exemplary standards. A model citizen.

You roll onto your other side on the bed, pressing a hand to your face as you count the minutes as they pass. Maybe taking one of your painkillers might be a good idea...presumably by Tighnari's theory, it'll be replaced anyways if you're sent back home, so there shouldn't be any real loss...if this is real, of course.

Wait...the day-after contraceptive. If I take one now, will I remember to take one when I wake up? And besides that, if this isn't a dream and I take one both now and when I wake up for security's sake, would that be too much?

Sitting up abruptly after a stretch of silence and laziness from both your indecision and headache, you reach for your things and fiddle with the plastic bag tied to one of the shoulder bag straps. It's a struggle wrestling the work that drunk-you did to tie it on your things. After much effort, you're forced to tear it open at the side instead with a sour expression.

You look over your shoulder at the door before pulling the box open, cracking the tray of plastic and foil to get a pill out. Without water at hand, you throw it back, swallow it dry, and let out a breath of relief now that it's in your system. If you're going to repeat what you did yesterday night with some other guy, you're probably going to need to invest in more of these pills...

What's the pills success rate against pregnancy anyways?

"H-Hello?" A sweet feminine voice speaks up as you're attempting to read the back of the pill box, prompting you to shove the items and remaining pills into the crudely torn black bag. As you look to see who it is, you feel a wave of anxiety creep up your spine.

Socializing with other girls...you haven't done that in a while. Normally, you just nod and hum in understanding when you're around female coworkers. Anything to look passively interested without seeming impolite, even if you really don't care about much of what they say half of the time...or maybe it's just that you have boring co-workers and you just don't like them because they like to hear themselves speak and aren't interested in asking you about your life.

Not that you have much to say about it other than "I want to be dead".

Wait. Don't I do the same exact thing when socializing with other genders though? Why does it feel like smooth sailing with Tighnari then?

And then you remember what your therapist said. Or rather what they were implying it could be. They never said it explicitly, as per the usual dance of them allowing you to lead yourself to the right conclusion...not that you thought this was accurate by any stretch of the imagination.

"You keep describing these feelings of having your emotions twisted around, but in a good way. And although you almost wanted to escape him during your dream...would you say they felt more like butterflies? Or spiders?"

"How would you describe your feelings regarding sexual relations? Of any kind, of course...or would you say you avoid it?"

That's embarrassing.