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"You ditched me to have sex with Puckerman, so I guess we're even now."
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NARRATOR'S POV
New week, new day. It's been a few weeks since the whole Hairography situation, and this week, the Thunderclap photos were going to be taken. So Kurt decided to do a little research on the school's old glee club pictures, and apparently it was not good. Kurt had called an emergency glee club meeting and was hoping that Rachel wasn't there.
"Where's Rachel?" Kurt asked everyone as he walked in with a few Thunderclaps in his arms.
"She's not here yet." Finn answered.
"Surprisingly." Santana mumbled as she leaned on the piano.
"Perfect. Glee Club stands on a delicate precipice. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face. The only ones that haven't been slushied yet is Brittany and Santana." Kurt mentioned, making the two Cheerios smile. "But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution: swirlies, patriotic wedgies."
Mercedes asked in confusion, "What's a patriotic wedgie?"
"It's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies." Finn explained.
"Strangely, it did make me feel more American." Artie commented, making some of the kids laugh.
"Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-glee club terror. I've done a little library research." Kurt continues.
He then sets down the yearbook and opens it to one of the glee club pictures.
"Peter Gellar?" Brittany reads the name.
"Glee Club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache and rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library."
"Patches?" Quinn asked in disbelief, seeing the man a few times.
Kurt nodded in clarification. "Patches."
"He barks at my mom." Brittany mentions.
"He tried to chase me once." Nathalie brought up.
"What'd you do?" Mike asked.
"Picked up a brick and started chasing him instead." She proudly stated, "Never bothered me again."
"Exhibit B: Tawny Peterson." Kurt persists as his fellow members starts to become wary of the Thunderclaps "Glee club class of 2000, seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years, would prove eerily prescient." He opened more yearbook photos of the glee clubs in the past, all defaced. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling."
