"s-she doesn't fucking h-hear me." i sobbed into his chest.
"i know baby. i'm so sorry." calum whispered as he held me tightly.
i heard the door open and saw michael and ashton.
"oh bella." michael whispered when he saw my mental state.
i looked over at ashton and said, "i-i'm sorry for c-crying and s-storming out."
"apology not accepted. if anyone needs to apologize it's your mom." he spoke simply.
"what did she do?" luke asked as he walked towards us.
"i-i finally opened up about the s-sexual assault i went t-through in the p-past and s-she called
me a l-liar and said i was t-trying to keep my i am a cutter attitude." i stuttered in between uneven breathes.
"what the fuck." luke replied as he looked over at ashton.
"i think we need to have a conversation with your mom about how she treats you. i don't think it's fair and in my opinion she needs therapy just as much as you." ashton spoke.
"i-i don't want her to hate me please. i'll take it. i'll take her moodiness because i don't know how much longer i have with her." i spoke softly.
"bella it's not fair how she treats you though. you shouldn't have to take that type of abuse from a parent." calum spoke as he pulled away.
"i'm fine okay? i can take it. i can't lose her. she's still my mom at the end of the day." i whispered.
all of the boys stared at me before ashton finally spoke up, "okay, when you're ready we'll be ready."
i nodded, "i need to be alone for a bit. i won't do anything stupid, you have my word." i mumbled as i pushed past them.
i walked down the stairs and into a bathroom. as soon as i shut and locked the door i felt myself collapse.
i curled up in the corner crying my eyes out. i promised myself never again. i gently pulled a blade out from the back of my pocket.
i promised, but promises were meant to be broken.
i knew deep down that this was wrong. i knew i shouldn't do this, but i was in fucking pain.
i heard a soft knock on the bathroom door and a voice speak. it was calum.
"hey baby, i just wanted to check in on you because i don't think it's smart or safe for you to be alone right now." he spoke gently.
"you're probably right, but i need to decide this for myself." i replied.
"decide what? bella open the door please?" calum pleaded from the other side.
"just go calum. forget about me and just help my mom." i spoke firmly.
i didn't want him to go.
"baby we are in this for the long run, i'm not going anywhere. please open the door." calum spoke with a shake to his voice.
he was going to cry.
"i can't. i'm done cal. i'm really done this time. i can't do this anymore." i spoke simply.
"i'm going to break this fucking door down if you don't open it." he spoke more panicked than before.
"woah, mate what's going on?" i heard luke's voice ask.
"bella locked herself in there and i'm scared." calum yelled.
he was scared. he was scared of losing me. he really cared about me.
i slowly got up and opened the door to see a tearful calum with luke trying to understand what was going on.
"you really care don't you?" i spoke as tears dripped down my face.
"oh princess." calum whispered as he pulled me in for a hug.
"i care more than you could ever know." he mumbled.
"then prove it and never leave me please. any of you." i sobbed into his chest.
