Everything I Didn't Say // completed

fourteenth letter

Dear Bella Grace,

Callie. Callie, Callie, Callie. She is amazing.

It's strange to write to you about her but she's all I can think about. I think I should be honest with you about my feelings. I love Callie, I really do. And I think you should know that. You were my best friend.

You were everything to me when you were here. And I let you go. I'm so sorry for that.

Callie has been supportive of the whole writing to you thing. I was hesitant to tell her, only because she might have been jealous or thought I was crazy. She actually thought it was sweet. I explained to her our relationship; that you were like a sister to me.

I wish you were still alive. You would've liked Callie. She's been so amazing to me. We've been on a couple dates and I already love her. My family loves her. She loves to write too, she told me. It's something she does on the side.

I think she's beautiful. But I'll be honest with you. Not with her though.. Not about this.

When you were still alive, I fell in love with you. I fell in love and I was stuck in quick sand in your love. Your hair fell perfectly every time you did it. Every day I saw you, I thought I was about to lose my breath. I loved you. And the day you died, was the hardest day of my life. You slipped into a comma and I cried beside you. I kissed you the way I wished I would've before you left.

The night of the party, I was actually thinking about telling you how I felt. And now that you know, I guess it's all over. This writing to you. I've told you everything I didn't say. I've told you all the things I wished I told you.

I wish I had told you how much you meant to me.

I wish I had told you how beautiful I thought you were.

I wish you had realized that when I looked at you, I was admiring your true beauty.

I wish I kissed you the way I wanted to since the day we met.

And I wish I told you how much I really loved you. I loved you more than anyone else in the world.

So, I guess I have to say goodbye. Goodbye for now.

Bella, I will never get over you. I'll have lots of girlfriends and relationships until I die but I will never forget my love for you. I will always, always, always, think you're the most beautiful girl. I will never find anyone like you.

So, Bella Grace, these letters are everything I didn't say.

Rylan

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou