Thomas never thought he would live to see the end of the world, but he never imagined it would look like this. He had always pictured volcanoes erupting or the oceans taking over the land. He never thought it would look like Newt's bedroom.
His world ended when the room went silent, and it started again when Voldy, Newt's cat, howled in anguish.
It ended when Newt breathed his last breath. When his chest stopped moving, and when his eyes closed for the last time.
It ended when Sonya hollered and sobbed into her brother's chest, and when his mother stood in the corner, too grief stricken to move.
It ended when Thomas realized he would never get to see those ocean blue eyes again. He would never get to hear the smooth whispers of Newt's voice.
When he thought it couldn't get any worse, the ambulance showed up. This time, there was no blaring sirens or rushing medics. They pulled in lazily, as if they were merely taking a lunch break. When they rolled his body out of the room and down to be taken away, his world ended again.
The angels were sad they had to take a life that day. That's what his mother always said when it rained after someone died. God was sad that he had to take another life. He must have been extremely sad that day too, because the clouds rolled in thick and dark, and thunder rolled through most of the night. Maybe God was as angry as Thomas was, because he wanted that time with Newt, he wanted to love him and hold him and tell him that he was going to beat this. He wanted to lie to him one more time.
The days after Newt died were a blur for Thomas, he didn't remember what he did or where he went, the only thing that brought him back to life was going through Newt's things, trying to figure out what was worth saving and what they needed to throw out. His mother had decided they weren't going to keep paying rent for this place, and that meant going through his things. Thomas thought about taking over the lease himself, now that he and Brenda were no longer together he didn't have a place to live.
But there were too many memories in this place, too many things that would remind him of Newt. He could remember Newt in other ways though. Like with his cat, Voldy, who he had volunteered to keep. Or the poster in his room of his favorite band.
But when Thomas pulled open the drawer of his bedside table, he saw an envelope with his name on it. Thomas furrowed his brow in confusion as the pain welled in his chest again in knots. He crumpled the envelope in his hand and bowed his head. He didn't want to see the small chicken scratch that was Newt's handwriting, not when all of his wounds were still so fresh.
He could hear the sounds of other occupants in the apartment as he tried to calm himself down and pull himself together enough to at least open the envelope. It was still white enough that Thomas knew that it had been written recently. He collected himself enough to rip open the top of the envelope and pull out the contents. As he expected, it was a letter. He inhaled shakily as he unfolded it and revealed the small handwriting.
Dear Tommy,
I never thought I would see the day where I would hear you tell me that you loved me. I remember the first time I saw you in school, when we were nothing but children with not a worry in the world. I wish we could go back to those days. Before everything was so complicated. You were the best person that I ever knew, Tommy. And I'm sorry I fucked up your life so much just by being in it. But I'm not sorry that you were in mine.
I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me too, knowing that I am leaving you here just when you realized who you were becoming. I can't wait to see that person, Tommy. The person who is proud of his sexuality and is not afraid to be who he is. I can't wait to see you be happy, even though I know that it's not going to be with me.
