Clutching || Bucky Barnes

23

"Tony". Steve's vice bounced round the room. "You know that it wasn't his fault. That it was hydra". 

Basil and Tony were rock still. Basil's arm was starting to ache but he continued to hold it up , the elbow disappearing through Tony's chest. He could close his hand round the man's heart and pull with little concentration. It was a aspect of his powers that he had never wanted to use, never thought he'd be using. Not on a enemy, not on a friend. Yet here he was. The anger and grief radiating off Tony was almost palpable. It made Basil's chest constrict with similar feelings. Anger at Zemo for doing this to them, grief for Tony's pain, grief for Bucky's past. Mourning for the friendship they had all once had, for he knew that it would never be the same after this. 

"I don't care", Tony replied with chilling coldness. "Move Parrish!" 

"No", Basil stated in a sigh. "No. You can't make me. You know that Tony, not while I am like this".  That was true. Once he turned solid again, Tony would attack. But while he was intangible, they were at a stalemate. 

Tony let out a frustrated shout, free hand clenching and unclenching into fists. "He killed my mother!" 

"I know!" Basil shouted back. "I know". 

The look Tony gave him was horrified and bitter. He looked at them all like they were the enemy and it hurt. "How can you protect him? How? He has killed so many people!" 

"So have I! So have you! What would you do if someone like Wanda, like Zemo, like the countless others who have had family killed because of your weapons or because of our influence, the avenger's influence! What is they tried to kill Pepper for working for your company, for working for you?"

"Don't lecture me Basil! I don't want to hear it!" 

"Tough. Fucking tough Tony! Because for as long as my arm is in your chest, you are going to listen. I can turn solid faster than you could move". Basil smiled but it was without humour or joy. It was sad. He raised his second arm and wriggled his fingers. The three men watched as his hand rose and poked Tony gently in the cheek. The fingers solid while the rest of him remained intangible. Tony swiped at him only for the blow to go right through. 

"That's new. Been trying out tricks?" 

"I have had time in retirement to expand my abilities", Basil stated. "Now listen to me. What will hurting Bucky do? You can't beat all three of us, not that you won't give your best shot. You won't win. How would hurting us help? All it would do is turn all that grief and hatred in your chest into a angry bitter ball that would do nothing but consume you inside. It will eat you up and chew you out. It will ruin all your relationships and leave you with nothing but rage and hatred. You know this, we have fought men who are products of what this causes". 

"Does it look like I care for this?" Tony snapped. "You always preach on like some goddamn martyr Corporal Parrish". He spat the name and Basil flinched. "You act like you have taken on all the pain in the world and preach on about how much you have been through like some fucking tragedy. I know for fucks sake! But don't you dare try and say you understand my pain. Don't you dare make this about you and how you can understand. Don't you dare. I have made my choices. Now move!" 

Basil started at him as if he had been struck. For a second Tony stared back, eyes blazing with hate and betrayal. Then Basil began laughing. He laughed as tears began dripping down his face and the sound bounced round the room. It filled the silence between them. The space between him and Tony, Steve and Bucky. Steve's eyes were sad and hurt. Bucky's worn, so worn and so sad and accepting of this, almost expectant of this pain. It was that look that Basil saw when he glanced back that made the sobs come. He pressed his free hand to his cheek as they rattled his chest and shook his shoulders. 

"Jahi", the name was spoken softly. Bucky took a step towards him but stopped. "Parrish. You can let him go. I deserve it". 

"No!" Basil wailed. "You don't. None of us do. We don't deserve this! Please, please. This is unfair!" 

"Life isn't fair!" Tony ground through gritted teeth. "Do you even remember her?" His gaze was on Bucky. 

"I remember all of them. Everything". The admission was nothing but honest truth. Basil gave a shaking sob. 

"You killed my mother!" Tony roared again. He went to move forwards but Basil's hand pressing to his breastplate stopped him in place. 

"I killed a lot of people's mothers. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know who I was, what I was. All I knew was to kill, to obey my orders. I couldn't not. If I did, there was pain and cold and each time I woke up with less of myself and more a blank shell. I wasn't human". Bucky's voice was plain, factual. Like he was giving a report rather than pleading to make someone understand. Then his voice cracked and his composure slipped. "You are welcome to kill me. Just don't hurt Basil, or Steve. Don't hurt them. I shall face my punishment". 

"No", Basil sniffed. Voice firmer, "No. Please". He turned his face to Tony again. "Please Tony. Please, if you were ever my friend, please don't do this. Don't take him away from me again. Not again. Please". 

"Tony", Steve's voice was firm and calm. "This is enough. You know that doing this won't make anything better. All you will be doing is playing into Zemo's hands. He wants us to tear each other apart, to let vengeance consume us. Don't let him win". 

"He's already won. The avengers are nothing anymore. The team is in pieces", Tony stated angrily. "All because of you. All of you". 

"I know", Steve nodded. "I was at fault for this. But Bucky is my family. He is my friend". 

"I was once too".

"You were". Steve's eyes were wet. "But he has always been family. He and Basil are my brothers. I will always fight for them". 

"We are all victims here", Basil murmured. "Please just let the cycle of vengeance stop. Please Tony, before someone gets hurt". He wiped his eyes then took a deep breath. "I won't let you". 

"What? You'll punch a hole through my chest? Not nice of a doctor to do".

"I was an army medic", Basil smiled gently. "And hopefully one day we can properly talk. But here and now, I am not going to let this continue". Then he withdrew his hand. Tony glanced down and watched as Basil pulled the arc reactor out of his breastplate. Instantly the suit powered down, the laser on his palm fading. 

Basil took a step back as Tony stared duly at the dead technology on his chest. "I can't let you hurt yourself, nor hurt them. I am sorry". Then he was turning and walking away. "Let's go". When he reached the other two, Bucky fell wordlessly in pace at his side, not a word said. Steve though, hesitated. 

"If you ever need us, give me a call. I will come", He spoke gently to the room. Tony didn't seem to hear him. Then the blonde was walking after the others. Their footsteps echoing through the corridors, growing fainter and fainter until they were silent. Tony's knees slowly collapsed under him and there was a clang as his knees hit the ground. Only the noise of his breath, cold and harsh, echoing through the room. 

unedited 

sad. so sad. I listened to the song above while writing. it just makes everything worse. but at least they didn't actually harm each other. 

vote, comment and all that.