My 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 (YEONGYU/BEOMJUN)

5

okay. yeonjun tells himself. behave civilly.

yeonjun stands inches away from beomgyu in the arrangement for today's content shooting. they're here for a group interview and curse every living being in this room, because yeonjun is seated right next to beomgyu today. he asks the managers if he and soobin can switch, but they refuse. apparently, the script requires them to sit together.

great, just great. yeonjun doesn't know if he can be in such close proximity to beomgyu and continue to have the awkwardness surrounding them. he reckons that beomgyu feels it too because beomgyu's eyes are fixated on the ground. or occasionally talking to taehyun who sits on his left side. yeonjun also opts to turn towards the other side and finds a smiley hueningkai looking at him knowingly.

too much pressure from each side, he feels, but he has to choose one. and it's not going to be petty beomgyu. so yeonjun attempts (see keyword) to talk casually with hueningkai, but the younger refuses to cooperate with him. it was as if he was setting yeonjun up with beomgyu. he appreciates the gesture, really, but not now. he doesn't want to mess around while at work.

yeonjun slightly turns away from kai's prying eyes and sees beomgyu staring at him. the moment yeonjun catches him, beomgyu looks away in a flustered manner, throwing himself at taehyun to hide his possible embarrassment. yeonjun is utterly confused at beomgyu acknowledging him at times when yeonjun isn't doing so. while beomgyu mumbles some nonsense to taehyun, the latter stares right into yeonjun's soul. this could be you right now. yeonjun feels taehyun's message come across perfectly clear through his eyes and finally- yeonjun chooses to stare at the ground, gulping harshly.

this was not going to go well. yeonjun can feel this feeling in every cell of his body. today was going to be a mess.

the staff from behind the cameras start speaking, briefing them on what kind of questions might come their way. yeonjun isn't listening one bit though. yeonjun remains silent, and he stares at one of the cameras. he can feel beomgyu beside him and the events of last night come back to him. beomgyu sad, crying, calling out to him- but he wasn't there for him.

it shouldn't hurt as much as it does- but yeonjun feels heeseung when he claims to like beomgyu. the latter's personality is so...unique, it would intrigue anyone. that's how it began with yeonjun. sitting in the dance practice room one day (more like night) and watching beomgyu bicker with soobin over the strawberry sandwich- yeonjun realised his bubbling feelings for said groupmate. they hadn't even debuted then, and so yeonjun didn't think much of it. only that, if he ever debuts- it's going to be with beomgyu. that he's going to be with beomgyu, by his side twenty-four seven.

yeonjun has always been a silent watcher. he's always just taken care of beomgyu from a safe distance, without him knowing at all. and now, apparently- everyone in the dorm already knew of yeonjun's feelings for beomgyu- except the lord himself. each member has confronted yeonjun on separate days, wondering if yeonjun liked beomgyu. they said he was being obvious. if yeonjun was being obvious, then why wasn't beomgyu catching on? yeonjun settles for the explanation that he doesn't, in fact, want to catch onto whatever train yeonjun climbs onto. yeonjun wants a labelled relationship, and beomgyu perhaps doesn't want anything.

another thing that absolutely terrifies yeonjun is- the thought of beomgyu liking heeseung back. heeseung is gorgeous, with the best sense of humour, he's caring and whatnot. what reason does beomgyu have not to fall in love with him? they spend the majority of their time talking with each other, texting or on video calls. yeonjun's petite heart sinks deeply at the thought of everything being spelled out to him clearly, yet he never caught on. yet he continued to have false hope.

the process of yeonjun falling in love with beomgyu was a slow, steady one. every day, yeonjun realised something new, an endearing quality about beomgyu which made his heart swell up with admiration and love for the younger. yeonjun has always really known that he'd fall in love with beomgyu. beomgyu always felt warm and cozy to yeonjun- like his human home. falling in love with beomgyu was a gentle fall, yet frustrating. when younger, yeonjun didn't know where to burst with all his love for beomgyu. now thought, when he's twenty-three, yeonjun can manage his feelings better. he knows to show it off when he can.