Please stay (BTS ff)

4.

Your pov-

I suddenly woke up by a loud sound. I opened my eyes and quickly checked the time.

It was 3 in the morning.

I slowly got up from the bed. As soon as i stood up a light flashed outside the window.

It was a thunderstorm.

I slowly walked towards one of the windows and opened it letting the cold wind and light raindrops hit my body.

"I really miss you appa. I wish you were here right now. Trust me I'm happy for mom, but she's marrying that seung han. Who has seven 'oh-so-popular' sons. Out of which one of them is just so arrogant and dumb! I don't expect any good from the rest six either. At last they are his brothers only. Now I'm just wondering how is that seung han guy so sweet and normal?"

I started complaining, more to myself.

I looked outside thinking what's up with my life and why is it so fucked up?

First i lost him then i lost appa too.

Now i only have my mother but she is madly in love with that Kim guy.

She doesn't spend much time with me already because of her work and now, i don't even think she will have a bit of time for me... I'm so messed up.

"Appa... You know i miss him a lot. I always just hope that he is fine. What if something has really happened to him?" I asked staring into blank space with my teary eyes.

"Is he alive?" I was deep in my thoughts that i didn't realise tears already escaped from my eyes.

The cold wind hitted my cheeks and i felt the cold burning sensation on my cheeks.

I slowly wiped away the tears, but more tears kept coming and i let them flow.

I don't like to cry infront of others. Because if i cry they think I'm weak.... Just then a memory flashed in my mind.

'get over with her quickly or else someone will see us!'

I felt someone kicking my stomach as i was laying down on the cold floor helplessly. They were kicking me and i could only feel pain in my whole body by this point. Slowly tears started streaming down my face.

"weak pathetic bitch! She can't even protect herself!" i heard someone scoff.

Maybe they are right? Maybe I'm really just a 'weak pathetic bitch' who can't even protect herself.

Some were laughing at the back looking at me.
'yeah! she even killed....'

And slowly all the voices faded away. I don't even wanna remember it. I know what it's about.

Why? Why does it have to be me? Can't god let me be happy? What is my fault? I kept questioning myself.

After few minutes of crying i went to check the time. It was 4:30 in the morning.

"I'm tired of crying. Few minutes of sleep would work i guess..." I spoke to myself and kept an alarm for 6 AM. After that i slept to regain my energy.

------------/------------

I was ready to leave for school. Today i wore an oversized black t shirt with black jeans.

I let my hairs down today, again.

After having my breakfast and greeting my mother, i left for school.

Thank god she didn't ask me anything this morning.