Intrusive Thoughts┆Inkmare┆Vent + Story┆✓

E P I L O G U E

⋆ Epilogue, the end ⋆

⚠︎ Warnings ⚠︎
Self-harm
Intrusive thoughts
Suicide

If a scene is fake/imagined, it's in italics.
If it's an author's note, it's in (brackets) and bold.
Everything else will just be normal text.
If it's an intrusive thought or voice it will be in bold and italics.

[ Ink's POV ]
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   The next few days after that was uneventful. I spend a lot of the time just sitting with Nightmare, he'd just let me. But as time went by, my intrusive thoughts began... Getting on the suicidal side again...

   I just decided to grin and bear it.

   "Hey Ink? I'm making poutine, do ya want any?" Night called from the kitchen. "Sure!" I called back turning on a show... Which ended up being The Owl House again. I love it so much.

    After watching the show for the thousandth time, I remembered a book I read back in 9th grade. I read it for a novel study in my enriched class. It was called The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I decided I would reread it.

   I remember that it took me a month to read — and that was just because I only read in for the first 35 minutes of class, 5 days a week — I didn't want to read it too fast, and I did anyways. Even with all the extra work and essays, I had to do. I don't regret it though, I think it was a very good book. Perhaps it'll be a good distraction from my mental health.

   After I ate, I went back to my room, easily finding the book on my bookshelf, which I organized by author A-Z.  I started reading it that night.

   A couple more days passed and I was halfway through the book. I sat in Night's lap, reading it. He had questioned me about it when he first saw me reading, and so I explained it to him.

   I told him how I was able to connect to the main character, Charlie, in a very strong way. He told me that he understood that and did the same thing with a lot of characters in the book he read. That made me smile.

   I was really happy when I finished the book, it brought back a lot of memories. I didn't think I'd get so much nostalgia from it. But after that, I started rereading all the paperback books I had read, the oldest one there was one I read over the summer before high school, it's called I Fell in Love with Hope and the author is Lancali. I still really like that one.

   Doing all the reading definitely distracted me. I had, of course, still had intrusive thoughts, they made very gruesome scenes stemming off of the plot from the books, sometimes throwing myself into the story and those gruesome scenarios as well. But, there were only so many books. I could have bought more, but I felt like I just couldn't spend my money. I didn't know why though.

   I sighed, getting a reminder that my birthday was the next day, not to mention it was already 10 pm. I don't know why I wasn't excited about it, I just didn't want to turn 19. I guess. "Hey, Night?" I spoke, walking into his room. "Can I sleep in here tonight?" I asked, standing at the door. I had to hold the door frame so I wouldn't fall over, my legs were shaking badly.

   "Sure, come in." Night said, he was already in bed, half asleep. I smiled, thanking him and going to lie down with him.

   His bed is definitely the most comfortable in the house.

   I stared at him before I fell asleep. I knew that this would be the last night I'd have with him.

『••✎••』

   I woke up and yawned, Nightmare was gone with a note on his pillow. I read it, it just said that he'd gone to work. I sighed, getting up. That was very convenient. I went to the bathroom, locking the door. I then found all my pills, taking as many as I could and swallowing them.

   After that, I felt very dizzy, but I grabbed a blade from my stash, dragging it quickly and harshly across my throat. Everything was black, and I was gone. I could see myself, laying on the floor of the bathroom bleeding out. No one would be back for a few hours. I was finally gone. Free from the pain.

The end.

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꧁ 757 words ꧂︎